Journal Entry-June 8, 2010
I never thought I would be able to say it, but I had a visit from "Moses" today at the Cancer Center! Mr. Moses, that is! But he was sent to me from God just like the Moses of the Bible was sent to the Israelites!
I came to the Cancer Center to get the first of 7 Herceptin treatments. Even though new guidelines say that Herceptin can be given over a 30 minute drip, my nurse decided to leave it at the 90 min. drip for me because of the past issues with my heart.
All was fine until about an hour into the treatment. I started feeling a little sick and my head felt a little strange. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I called my nurse. She tilted me back and took my blood pressure. It was 140/86. She called Dr. Go and he told her to give me some Decadron. After he left, I was crying as a man was walking through my area. He was dressed in a suit and had a gold cross around his neck. He immediately started telling me there was no need to cry, but I should just trust the Lord. Cassie told me his name was Mr. Moses and that he was a pastor that visits the Chemo room regularly. He told me he had a word from the Lord for me-to let go and let God handle the burden. He said he knew I was a child of God's and God was telling him to tell me that I didn't need to cry any more because it was already taken care of. Then he prayed for me. After the Decadron, I finished the last of the Herceptin. My blood pressure and pulse rate was lower and I went home to rest.
How wonderful is God's plan for us that even in our darkest times, He provides messengers with His Word for us!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The Patience of Faith
Journal Entry-May 29, 2010
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song!"
Journal Entry-May 16, 2010
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Graciousness of Uncertainty
Journal Entry-May 2, 2010
"Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing...The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty...Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day will bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time...Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next...Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him." Oswald Chambers-My Utmost For His Highest
I really needed these words this week and I hope they are a blessing to you, as well. Uncertainty is one thing that I fear, even before my cancer diagnosis. But now, even more, I need to be watching and waiting to see how God is going to move in my life and not miss any opportunities He gives me to serve Him.
I'd like to ask you to pray for the family of Pam, a friend from my oncology rehabilitation class last summer. She lost her 16 month battle with breast cancer this past week. We were diagnosed the same month last year. She was always smiling, with her bandana on her head! Her hair wasn't growing back as fast as it should've and she was desperately hoping for some! The last time I saw her, I gave her a little bottle of shampoo and a tube of mascara as she waited for hair! She said in her comment on my blog in August that she had been encouraged from the verses many of you shared with me. Thank you all as you continue to lift me up, so I can share this encouragement with others.
"We're uncertain of the next step, but certain of God."
"Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing...The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty...Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day will bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time...Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next...Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him." Oswald Chambers-My Utmost For His Highest
I really needed these words this week and I hope they are a blessing to you, as well. Uncertainty is one thing that I fear, even before my cancer diagnosis. But now, even more, I need to be watching and waiting to see how God is going to move in my life and not miss any opportunities He gives me to serve Him.
I'd like to ask you to pray for the family of Pam, a friend from my oncology rehabilitation class last summer. She lost her 16 month battle with breast cancer this past week. We were diagnosed the same month last year. She was always smiling, with her bandana on her head! Her hair wasn't growing back as fast as it should've and she was desperately hoping for some! The last time I saw her, I gave her a little bottle of shampoo and a tube of mascara as she waited for hair! She said in her comment on my blog in August that she had been encouraged from the verses many of you shared with me. Thank you all as you continue to lift me up, so I can share this encouragement with others.
"We're uncertain of the next step, but certain of God."
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
There and back again!
Journal Entry-April 28, 2010
Anna and I had a wonderful time in Williamsburg! I had never been and really enjoyed seeing what our country was like during the time of the Revolution. Not so far removed from the feelings of patriotism and freedom we feel today!
I am having to bandage my arm due to swelling from the lymphedema. I was out of my normal routine while travelling last week and had some fluid building up. I should have my new compression sleeves soon.
I have a routine M.R.I. on May 3 and will receive the results the next Tuesday. I'll update then. Thank you so much for praying!
Anna and I had a wonderful time in Williamsburg! I had never been and really enjoyed seeing what our country was like during the time of the Revolution. Not so far removed from the feelings of patriotism and freedom we feel today!
I am having to bandage my arm due to swelling from the lymphedema. I was out of my normal routine while travelling last week and had some fluid building up. I should have my new compression sleeves soon.
I have a routine M.R.I. on May 3 and will receive the results the next Tuesday. I'll update then. Thank you so much for praying!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Williamsburg Bound!
Journal Entry-April 16, 2010
Next Tuesday-Friday I will be going with Anna's sixth grade class to Williamsburg! I am busy and tired, but excited! I would appreciate your prayers for my health and strength as I pack for myself and Anna. Also, pray for Joey and Joe as they "bachelor" it! I'm just so thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to go and enjoy this "once in a lifetime" chance with Anna and her friends! With Anna and Josie and Avari all in one room, I don't know how much sleep Mrs. Rollins and I will get! But it will be great fun!
Next Tuesday-Friday I will be going with Anna's sixth grade class to Williamsburg! I am busy and tired, but excited! I would appreciate your prayers for my health and strength as I pack for myself and Anna. Also, pray for Joey and Joe as they "bachelor" it! I'm just so thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to go and enjoy this "once in a lifetime" chance with Anna and her friends! With Anna and Josie and Avari all in one room, I don't know how much sleep Mrs. Rollins and I will get! But it will be great fun!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Good News!
Journal Entry-Monday, April 5, 2010
My lab results came in and they showed no malignancies! They'll just continue to monitor them every six months on mammograms. I'm still pretty nauseated, so I would appreciate your prayers for that as I return to work tomorrow!
Thanks for your faithful prayers!
My lab results came in and they showed no malignancies! They'll just continue to monitor them every six months on mammograms. I'm still pretty nauseated, so I would appreciate your prayers for that as I return to work tomorrow!
Thanks for your faithful prayers!
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