Journal Entry-December 31, 2009
"For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go in flight, for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12
"At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise from remembering yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God's grace is apt to be checked by our memory of yesterday's sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them in order to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual culture for the future. God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security of the present.
"For the Lord will go before you". This is a gracious revelation, that God will garrison where we have failed to. He will watch lest things trip us up again into like failure, as they assuredly would do if He were not our "rear guard". God's hand reaches back to the past and makes a clearing house for the conscience...Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.
Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him!"
Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"O Come, Thou Dayspring"
Journal Entry-December 22, 2009
"O Come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer our spirits by thy coming here; Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to Thee, O Isreal!"
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I enjoyed being able to go to the the cantata at church and sing it on Sunday night. I am enjoying my first few days off from work, although it is very busy with tying up loose ends for gifts and shopping. We visited my Nana yesterday at her nursing home. Joey and Anna played and sang for them. They were so appreciative and truly enjoyed singing with us! They were making requests for Joey! He did some pretty good sight reading!
We will enjoy our Christmas visits with family here in town later this week. Joe will have knee surgery on Tuesday, December 29, to repair a torn meniscus. I have my first Herceptin treatment with my port on Monday, December 28.
We wish everyone a blessed and merry Christmas with your families!
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:11-14
"O Come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer our spirits by thy coming here; Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to Thee, O Isreal!"
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I enjoyed being able to go to the the cantata at church and sing it on Sunday night. I am enjoying my first few days off from work, although it is very busy with tying up loose ends for gifts and shopping. We visited my Nana yesterday at her nursing home. Joey and Anna played and sang for them. They were so appreciative and truly enjoyed singing with us! They were making requests for Joey! He did some pretty good sight reading!
We will enjoy our Christmas visits with family here in town later this week. Joe will have knee surgery on Tuesday, December 29, to repair a torn meniscus. I have my first Herceptin treatment with my port on Monday, December 28.
We wish everyone a blessed and merry Christmas with your families!
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:11-14
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
One Year Ago
Journal Entry-December 8, 2009
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the knowledge of Him everywhere." 2 Cor. 2:14
It was one year ago this week that my doctor found my tumor and sent me for further testing. It hardly seems possible that it has been one year. Sometimes I feel like I've aged many years in this year and other times I feel like I've stood still. I can hardly remember what life was like before this cancer. But before I knew anything, God knew it all and He still does!
I will be having outpatient surgery this Thursday at 2:00 to have my port put in. I wanted to wait until closer to Christmas break, but this was the only time Dr. Young could do it. I would appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this at home and at work. Anna's birthday party is Friday, so especially pray that I will not be sick from the anesthesia and feel like doing all I need to do to prepare for her party! Anna had her Christmas Voice Recital last night. Joey will have exams next week for the first time and has his piano recital and first basketball game Saturday. This month is always is a blur of activities! I have to pray daily for help in focusing on the real reason for it all!
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the knowledge of Him everywhere." 2 Cor. 2:14
It was one year ago this week that my doctor found my tumor and sent me for further testing. It hardly seems possible that it has been one year. Sometimes I feel like I've aged many years in this year and other times I feel like I've stood still. I can hardly remember what life was like before this cancer. But before I knew anything, God knew it all and He still does!
I will be having outpatient surgery this Thursday at 2:00 to have my port put in. I wanted to wait until closer to Christmas break, but this was the only time Dr. Young could do it. I would appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this at home and at work. Anna's birthday party is Friday, so especially pray that I will not be sick from the anesthesia and feel like doing all I need to do to prepare for her party! Anna had her Christmas Voice Recital last night. Joey will have exams next week for the first time and has his piano recital and first basketball game Saturday. This month is always is a blur of activities! I have to pray daily for help in focusing on the real reason for it all!
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
"He will Deliver Us Again"
Journal Entry-November 17, 2009
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."
2 Corinthians 1:8-11
I must admit that there have been several times in the past few weeks that I have "despaired of life itself". The strain of life is sometimes overwhelming. Then I am put to shame when I consider what Paul must have endured to get to that point in these verses! Certainly much more than I have to endure! Yet, the conclusion of the matter is the same: "He will deliver us again"!
All of the "big" tests that I have had done in the past weeks have come back with positive results. This is such an answer to prayer! It is certainly a blessing granted to me through the "prayers of many". I am still having back pain, but have come to the point where I believe it is the Herceptin. It is a side effect of Herceptin 22% of the time. Dr. Go said that the Herceptin should not have a cumulative effect like the chemo, so he doesn't believe it will worsen over time. I spoke with him about the problems of not being able to find good veins in my right arm for the Herceptin treatments. I have 10 more to go after today, so he feels that a port may be a good thing. I want to still have some good veins left after this is all over with! I am also getting a bit anxious every time I have to have a stick. I will try to schedule it before the end of the year since it will cost less than waiting until January. It should be a short outpatient procedure with a quick recovery time.
I have gone back to physical therapy to learn manual lymph drainage techniques. I have not been wearing my compression sleeve lately because the swelling was so much better. But over the past few weeks, the fluid has been building up and now my arm is pretty swollen. I will probably be getting a new type of sleeve and glove for day and one I can wear at night. This, along with learning the manual lymph drainage techniques, should help with the swelling. The down side is PT twice a week for at least two weeks!
I was able to get my H1N1 shot at the Cancer Center today while I got my Herceptin treatment! I was going to get in line for a long wait at the Greenville Co. Schools Clinic when I left here today. Praise the Lord I didn't have to!
Joey's finger is recovering well. The infection is finally clearing up after two rounds of antibiotics. It is still swollen and a little painful when he bends it for therapy. He did not make the HPCS JV team, but is playing basketball for Edwards Road Baptist Church. He is on the middle school team and should have a lot of chances to be a "leader". This will build his confidence and skills. The Lord has also given him a chance to be a godly influence and intercessor for boys he would normally not come into contact with. This has been a great spiritual growth experience for him and we are confident the Lord has him where he needs to be! Thank you for praying with us. My little "Songbird" Anna placed first in the Vocal Solo Run-offs for 4th-6th grade last week! She sang "Stand Up for Jesus" and "Brethren We Have Met to Worship". She will represent HPCS in the Fine Arts Festival in March.
I am counting the days until the Thanksgiving and Christmas Breaks. Just to have some days to catch up on sleep will be so nice! I've had 3 new students in less than a month! It's nice to know that some time off is just around the bend!
"On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."
2 Corinthians 1:8-11
I must admit that there have been several times in the past few weeks that I have "despaired of life itself". The strain of life is sometimes overwhelming. Then I am put to shame when I consider what Paul must have endured to get to that point in these verses! Certainly much more than I have to endure! Yet, the conclusion of the matter is the same: "He will deliver us again"!
All of the "big" tests that I have had done in the past weeks have come back with positive results. This is such an answer to prayer! It is certainly a blessing granted to me through the "prayers of many". I am still having back pain, but have come to the point where I believe it is the Herceptin. It is a side effect of Herceptin 22% of the time. Dr. Go said that the Herceptin should not have a cumulative effect like the chemo, so he doesn't believe it will worsen over time. I spoke with him about the problems of not being able to find good veins in my right arm for the Herceptin treatments. I have 10 more to go after today, so he feels that a port may be a good thing. I want to still have some good veins left after this is all over with! I am also getting a bit anxious every time I have to have a stick. I will try to schedule it before the end of the year since it will cost less than waiting until January. It should be a short outpatient procedure with a quick recovery time.
I have gone back to physical therapy to learn manual lymph drainage techniques. I have not been wearing my compression sleeve lately because the swelling was so much better. But over the past few weeks, the fluid has been building up and now my arm is pretty swollen. I will probably be getting a new type of sleeve and glove for day and one I can wear at night. This, along with learning the manual lymph drainage techniques, should help with the swelling. The down side is PT twice a week for at least two weeks!
I was able to get my H1N1 shot at the Cancer Center today while I got my Herceptin treatment! I was going to get in line for a long wait at the Greenville Co. Schools Clinic when I left here today. Praise the Lord I didn't have to!
Joey's finger is recovering well. The infection is finally clearing up after two rounds of antibiotics. It is still swollen and a little painful when he bends it for therapy. He did not make the HPCS JV team, but is playing basketball for Edwards Road Baptist Church. He is on the middle school team and should have a lot of chances to be a "leader". This will build his confidence and skills. The Lord has also given him a chance to be a godly influence and intercessor for boys he would normally not come into contact with. This has been a great spiritual growth experience for him and we are confident the Lord has him where he needs to be! Thank you for praying with us. My little "Songbird" Anna placed first in the Vocal Solo Run-offs for 4th-6th grade last week! She sang "Stand Up for Jesus" and "Brethren We Have Met to Worship". She will represent HPCS in the Fine Arts Festival in March.
I am counting the days until the Thanksgiving and Christmas Breaks. Just to have some days to catch up on sleep will be so nice! I've had 3 new students in less than a month! It's nice to know that some time off is just around the bend!
"On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
"The Paths of the Lord"
Journal Entry-October 27, 2009
Psalm 25:10
"All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."
Dr. Go did not see anything in my blood work that would make him suspect kidney problems and he is sure that the Tamoxifen is not the cause of my back pain. He feels like it is just post-chemo skeletal and muscle pain and that some therapy might help. He wants me to go to a physical therapist that specializes in back pain. I am not so sure right now that I will go. I hardly have time now to do the physical therapy for the lymphodema, much less more exercises for my back! I am relieved that there is no obvious reason for the pain. I am going to try to find the time to start walking again and maybe that will help.
Even when our paths don't seem to be just what we expected, all of the Lord's paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.
Psalm 25:10
"All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."
Dr. Go did not see anything in my blood work that would make him suspect kidney problems and he is sure that the Tamoxifen is not the cause of my back pain. He feels like it is just post-chemo skeletal and muscle pain and that some therapy might help. He wants me to go to a physical therapist that specializes in back pain. I am not so sure right now that I will go. I hardly have time now to do the physical therapy for the lymphodema, much less more exercises for my back! I am relieved that there is no obvious reason for the pain. I am going to try to find the time to start walking again and maybe that will help.
Even when our paths don't seem to be just what we expected, all of the Lord's paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
"In the Land of the Living"
Journal Entry-October 24, 2009
"I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live...For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living...What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?...I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." Psalm 116:1,6,12,17
What a beautiful fall day! Joe has taken Anna to her Voice Class and is doing some grocery shopping for me. Joey is on Lake Murray with Papa having some boating practice since he received his S.C. Boating License. And I am home resting from a virus and possible kidney infection. I started running a fever Thursday and reached an all time high on my back pain. They did flu tests, strep test, and blood work. No flu or strep, but my white blood cells were up and their were signs of possible kidney infection. The final labs will be in on Monday. I go to see Dr. Go on Tuesday for more labs, Herceptin, and to discuss the back pain. I have Polycystic Kidney Disease, but have never had any infections or problems from it. I'm assuming he'll probably order an ultrasound to see if there are any changes since my last one over 5 years ago.
Joey is set to get his pins out next Tuesday, Nov. 3, if x-rays taken that day show the bone has healed. If he gets the pins out, the doctor said he can "buddy tape" the finger and go straight to basketball try-outs. Hopefully he can show his "stuff" in 2 or 3 days and make the team! This has been a faith-walk for him. He has prayed over that finger daily. Last week the doctor and physical therapist were surprised at the healing his finger had done in such a short time, so Joey is seeing first hand the results of his diligent prayers! Thanks for all who are praying for me and him and our family! We are truly blessed!
"I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live...For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living...What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?...I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." Psalm 116:1,6,12,17
What a beautiful fall day! Joe has taken Anna to her Voice Class and is doing some grocery shopping for me. Joey is on Lake Murray with Papa having some boating practice since he received his S.C. Boating License. And I am home resting from a virus and possible kidney infection. I started running a fever Thursday and reached an all time high on my back pain. They did flu tests, strep test, and blood work. No flu or strep, but my white blood cells were up and their were signs of possible kidney infection. The final labs will be in on Monday. I go to see Dr. Go on Tuesday for more labs, Herceptin, and to discuss the back pain. I have Polycystic Kidney Disease, but have never had any infections or problems from it. I'm assuming he'll probably order an ultrasound to see if there are any changes since my last one over 5 years ago.
Joey is set to get his pins out next Tuesday, Nov. 3, if x-rays taken that day show the bone has healed. If he gets the pins out, the doctor said he can "buddy tape" the finger and go straight to basketball try-outs. Hopefully he can show his "stuff" in 2 or 3 days and make the team! This has been a faith-walk for him. He has prayed over that finger daily. Last week the doctor and physical therapist were surprised at the healing his finger had done in such a short time, so Joey is seeing first hand the results of his diligent prayers! Thanks for all who are praying for me and him and our family! We are truly blessed!
Monday, October 19, 2009
PET Results
Journal Entry-October 19, 2009
I was glad to get good news today from my doctor! My PET results do not show any sign of malignancy! Now that the worst case senario is ruled out, I will see Dr. Gococo next week to discuss other possible causes of the pain in my back. Hopefully it is just a reaction to one of the medicines and we can adjust them to ease the pain. Joey gets his stitches out tomorrow! Thanks for all the prayers!
I was glad to get good news today from my doctor! My PET results do not show any sign of malignancy! Now that the worst case senario is ruled out, I will see Dr. Gococo next week to discuss other possible causes of the pain in my back. Hopefully it is just a reaction to one of the medicines and we can adjust them to ease the pain. Joey gets his stitches out tomorrow! Thanks for all the prayers!
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