Journal Entry-October 20, 2010
I got to ring the Bell again yesterday at the Cancer Center when I finished my last Herceptin! I have an Echo today, a PET scan next Wednesday, and then back to Dr. Go on Nov. 5. If all the tests turn out alright, he will send me to Dr. Young to have my port removed! It will be nice to close this chapter of active treatment and move on!
I can't believe that the first quarter of school is already gone! Joey is finishing up soccer at HPCS with the State Tournament next week. He is also in the play Matchmaker and has been busy with rehearsals. We had a wonderful time at the Family Conference at the Wilds a few weeks back! I love Fall and I will be glad when our "summer" days of Fall are over and we get to the nice mild weather we're used to around here!
Thanks for all your meals, cards, and prayers as I finished up my Herceptin. God is good!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
"Before You Ask"
"For your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Matthew 6:8
I wanted to share how the Lord has worked in my medical situations over the past 2 or 3 months. I have had problems with the lymphedema in my arm since spring. I did a demo with a machine called the Flexitouch in June. I will finally get it delivered to me with no cost tomorrow!I have been on several "rabbit trails" trying to find someone to help me with the expense. I was originally told I was out of network and my insurance would not pay. So I tried private non-profit cancer organizations and came to a dead end. Then I did a demo with another pump that was in network, just not as good as the Flexitouch . The next day I received a call saying that my insurance would pay for the Flexitouch, the machine I wanted! They even worked it out to waive the remaining balance so that I could get the pump with no charge to me! So many of you have been specifically praying with me for this and I thank you so much! I was tempted to think that if I had just stuck with the original plan in June that I wouldn't have had to wait so long to get it. But then the Lord showed me that every path He took me down during this process has led to a blessing that I wouldn't have had were it not for going on the "rabbit trails"! The local non-profit organizations could not help with the pump, but gave monetary assistance with medical bills. The lady who did the demo with the other pump told me my compression sleeves shouldn't be so loose after just 3 months. So they called the company and they are sending 2 new sleeves to replace the ones I have now! Then as the Lord pulled me back on the Flexitouch path, I was able to get this machine without any cost to me at all! It has been an amazing experience seeing how the Lord uses "rabbit trails" for my good.
I am having my next to the last Herceptin today. I will finish 3 weeks from today! I hope to have the training nurse out to set up my Flexitouch this week, so I can begin to do the lymphatic drainage that should reduce the swelling in my arm and allow me to decrease the amount of time I wear compression garments.
Thanks again for all your prayers!
I wanted to share how the Lord has worked in my medical situations over the past 2 or 3 months. I have had problems with the lymphedema in my arm since spring. I did a demo with a machine called the Flexitouch in June. I will finally get it delivered to me with no cost tomorrow!I have been on several "rabbit trails" trying to find someone to help me with the expense. I was originally told I was out of network and my insurance would not pay. So I tried private non-profit cancer organizations and came to a dead end. Then I did a demo with another pump that was in network, just not as good as the Flexitouch . The next day I received a call saying that my insurance would pay for the Flexitouch, the machine I wanted! They even worked it out to waive the remaining balance so that I could get the pump with no charge to me! So many of you have been specifically praying with me for this and I thank you so much! I was tempted to think that if I had just stuck with the original plan in June that I wouldn't have had to wait so long to get it. But then the Lord showed me that every path He took me down during this process has led to a blessing that I wouldn't have had were it not for going on the "rabbit trails"! The local non-profit organizations could not help with the pump, but gave monetary assistance with medical bills. The lady who did the demo with the other pump told me my compression sleeves shouldn't be so loose after just 3 months. So they called the company and they are sending 2 new sleeves to replace the ones I have now! Then as the Lord pulled me back on the Flexitouch path, I was able to get this machine without any cost to me at all! It has been an amazing experience seeing how the Lord uses "rabbit trails" for my good.
I am having my next to the last Herceptin today. I will finish 3 weeks from today! I hope to have the training nurse out to set up my Flexitouch this week, so I can begin to do the lymphatic drainage that should reduce the swelling in my arm and allow me to decrease the amount of time I wear compression garments.
Thanks again for all your prayers!
Monday, August 2, 2010
"What we call the process, God calls the end."
Journal Entry-August 2, 2010
"What we call the process, God calls the end. What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process-that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God...God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers
The end of summer lies just around the bend and the last minute "rush" is on to try and finish all the "projects" I planned to accomplish this summer. My relaxing days of reading a book just for fun are over as long range math plans, buying school clothes and textbooks, and ideas for setting up my classroom occupy my thoughts. I am very goal oriented and the reaching the end of these goals is what motivates me. But God sees it differently. To him, the process to those goals is the end. My seeing Him walk on the chaos of my life should be my only goal!
I have completed 3 out of 7 Herceptin treatments. This week I've really felt drained after the treatment. The first 48 hours after the treatment are not very enjoyable. The next Herceptin will be the afternoon of my first day of school with my new class, September 16.
We are back from vacation and trying to enjoy these last days of freedom! Joey left for camp with over 70 kids from Hampton Park today. He will be at Appalachian Bible Camp enjoying God's creation through adventure recreation. I know he will have a tremendous time and we are praying for the Lord to speak to all of the youth through the activities of the week.
I am also preparing to be a mentor to a new 4K teacher, Amanda Graves. This is her first classroom job and she is looking forward to these little ones! It will be a great year for both of us with her youth and creativity! I am also beginning a new part time job as a Kindergarten trainer for the "Math Out of the Box" curriculum developed by Clemson University. I will be flying to Indiana on August 31 to teach a one day training session on Sept. 1. I would appreciate your prayers as I fly on those two days. There is an increased risk of swelling with air travel and I'm trusting my lymphedema will not worsen. Also I would ask that you pray as I seek help from some national cancer foundations in getting a lymphedema pump. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am praying that the Lord will lead me to an organization that can purchase this machine for me. It would help me manage my lymphedema at home and not have to rely on physical therapy. It would hopefully prevent the need for any more bandaging. I've had some type of compression on my left arm around the clock for 2 months! When I did a demo with this machine, it worked great, so thanks for joining me as I pray for this need to be met.
Thanks for all of you who are praying for me as I finish these Herceptin treatments and begin a new school year!
"What we call the process, God calls the end. What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process-that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God...God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers
The end of summer lies just around the bend and the last minute "rush" is on to try and finish all the "projects" I planned to accomplish this summer. My relaxing days of reading a book just for fun are over as long range math plans, buying school clothes and textbooks, and ideas for setting up my classroom occupy my thoughts. I am very goal oriented and the reaching the end of these goals is what motivates me. But God sees it differently. To him, the process to those goals is the end. My seeing Him walk on the chaos of my life should be my only goal!
I have completed 3 out of 7 Herceptin treatments. This week I've really felt drained after the treatment. The first 48 hours after the treatment are not very enjoyable. The next Herceptin will be the afternoon of my first day of school with my new class, September 16.
We are back from vacation and trying to enjoy these last days of freedom! Joey left for camp with over 70 kids from Hampton Park today. He will be at Appalachian Bible Camp enjoying God's creation through adventure recreation. I know he will have a tremendous time and we are praying for the Lord to speak to all of the youth through the activities of the week.
I am also preparing to be a mentor to a new 4K teacher, Amanda Graves. This is her first classroom job and she is looking forward to these little ones! It will be a great year for both of us with her youth and creativity! I am also beginning a new part time job as a Kindergarten trainer for the "Math Out of the Box" curriculum developed by Clemson University. I will be flying to Indiana on August 31 to teach a one day training session on Sept. 1. I would appreciate your prayers as I fly on those two days. There is an increased risk of swelling with air travel and I'm trusting my lymphedema will not worsen. Also I would ask that you pray as I seek help from some national cancer foundations in getting a lymphedema pump. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am praying that the Lord will lead me to an organization that can purchase this machine for me. It would help me manage my lymphedema at home and not have to rely on physical therapy. It would hopefully prevent the need for any more bandaging. I've had some type of compression on my left arm around the clock for 2 months! When I did a demo with this machine, it worked great, so thanks for joining me as I pray for this need to be met.
Thanks for all of you who are praying for me as I finish these Herceptin treatments and begin a new school year!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Recognizing Jesus
Journal Entry-June 19, 2010
'And Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let the actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him." From My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
What are your circumstances today or this week? My circumstances have revolved around trying to cope with a bound up left arm due to lymphedema swelling! The bandages are very tight and sometimes painful. I was hoping to only have to do it for one week, but I'm still in them-24/7-and will have to go to PT for the next few weeks. No doubt there are many of you that have little to complain about right now in life and just as many, if not more, who's circumstances have led you down difficult paths this week. I know my heart is heavy with the burden of prayer, particularly for those in our church family that are struggling through cancer treatments right now.
But isn't it great to know that no matter what the current circumstances of our lives, as long as we recognize Jesus in them, we can "walk on water" and rise above them!
'And Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let the actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him." From My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
What are your circumstances today or this week? My circumstances have revolved around trying to cope with a bound up left arm due to lymphedema swelling! The bandages are very tight and sometimes painful. I was hoping to only have to do it for one week, but I'm still in them-24/7-and will have to go to PT for the next few weeks. No doubt there are many of you that have little to complain about right now in life and just as many, if not more, who's circumstances have led you down difficult paths this week. I know my heart is heavy with the burden of prayer, particularly for those in our church family that are struggling through cancer treatments right now.
But isn't it great to know that no matter what the current circumstances of our lives, as long as we recognize Jesus in them, we can "walk on water" and rise above them!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
A Visit from "Moses"
Journal Entry-June 8, 2010
I never thought I would be able to say it, but I had a visit from "Moses" today at the Cancer Center! Mr. Moses, that is! But he was sent to me from God just like the Moses of the Bible was sent to the Israelites!
I came to the Cancer Center to get the first of 7 Herceptin treatments. Even though new guidelines say that Herceptin can be given over a 30 minute drip, my nurse decided to leave it at the 90 min. drip for me because of the past issues with my heart.
All was fine until about an hour into the treatment. I started feeling a little sick and my head felt a little strange. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I called my nurse. She tilted me back and took my blood pressure. It was 140/86. She called Dr. Go and he told her to give me some Decadron. After he left, I was crying as a man was walking through my area. He was dressed in a suit and had a gold cross around his neck. He immediately started telling me there was no need to cry, but I should just trust the Lord. Cassie told me his name was Mr. Moses and that he was a pastor that visits the Chemo room regularly. He told me he had a word from the Lord for me-to let go and let God handle the burden. He said he knew I was a child of God's and God was telling him to tell me that I didn't need to cry any more because it was already taken care of. Then he prayed for me. After the Decadron, I finished the last of the Herceptin. My blood pressure and pulse rate was lower and I went home to rest.
How wonderful is God's plan for us that even in our darkest times, He provides messengers with His Word for us!
I never thought I would be able to say it, but I had a visit from "Moses" today at the Cancer Center! Mr. Moses, that is! But he was sent to me from God just like the Moses of the Bible was sent to the Israelites!
I came to the Cancer Center to get the first of 7 Herceptin treatments. Even though new guidelines say that Herceptin can be given over a 30 minute drip, my nurse decided to leave it at the 90 min. drip for me because of the past issues with my heart.
All was fine until about an hour into the treatment. I started feeling a little sick and my head felt a little strange. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I called my nurse. She tilted me back and took my blood pressure. It was 140/86. She called Dr. Go and he told her to give me some Decadron. After he left, I was crying as a man was walking through my area. He was dressed in a suit and had a gold cross around his neck. He immediately started telling me there was no need to cry, but I should just trust the Lord. Cassie told me his name was Mr. Moses and that he was a pastor that visits the Chemo room regularly. He told me he had a word from the Lord for me-to let go and let God handle the burden. He said he knew I was a child of God's and God was telling him to tell me that I didn't need to cry any more because it was already taken care of. Then he prayed for me. After the Decadron, I finished the last of the Herceptin. My blood pressure and pulse rate was lower and I went home to rest.
How wonderful is God's plan for us that even in our darkest times, He provides messengers with His Word for us!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The Patience of Faith
Journal Entry-May 29, 2010
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song!"
Journal Entry-May 16, 2010
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
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