Monday, August 2, 2010

"What we call the process, God calls the end."

Journal Entry-August 2, 2010

"What we call the process, God calls the end. What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process-that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God...God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers

The end of summer lies just around the bend and the last minute "rush" is on to try and finish all the "projects" I planned to accomplish this summer. My relaxing days of reading a book just for fun are over as long range math plans, buying school clothes and textbooks, and ideas for setting up my classroom occupy my thoughts. I am very goal oriented and the reaching the end of these goals is what motivates me. But God sees it differently. To him, the process to those goals is the end. My seeing Him walk on the chaos of my life should be my only goal!

I have completed 3 out of 7 Herceptin treatments. This week I've really felt drained after the treatment. The first 48 hours after the treatment are not very enjoyable. The next Herceptin will be the afternoon of my first day of school with my new class, September 16.

We are back from vacation and trying to enjoy these last days of freedom! Joey left for camp with over 70 kids from Hampton Park today. He will be at Appalachian Bible Camp enjoying God's creation through adventure recreation. I know he will have a tremendous time and we are praying for the Lord to speak to all of the youth through the activities of the week.
I am also preparing to be a mentor to a new 4K teacher, Amanda Graves. This is her first classroom job and she is looking forward to these little ones! It will be a great year for both of us with her youth and creativity! I am also beginning a new part time job as a Kindergarten trainer for the "Math Out of the Box" curriculum developed by Clemson University. I will be flying to Indiana on August 31 to teach a one day training session on Sept. 1. I would appreciate your prayers as I fly on those two days. There is an increased risk of swelling with air travel and I'm trusting my lymphedema will not worsen. Also I would ask that you pray as I seek help from some national cancer foundations in getting a lymphedema pump. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am praying that the Lord will lead me to an organization that can purchase this machine for me. It would help me manage my lymphedema at home and not have to rely on physical therapy. It would hopefully prevent the need for any more bandaging. I've had some type of compression on my left arm around the clock for 2 months! When I did a demo with this machine, it worked great, so thanks for joining me as I pray for this need to be met.
Thanks for all of you who are praying for me as I finish these Herceptin treatments and begin a new school year!