Journal Entry-October 20, 2010
I got to ring the Bell again yesterday at the Cancer Center when I finished my last Herceptin! I have an Echo today, a PET scan next Wednesday, and then back to Dr. Go on Nov. 5. If all the tests turn out alright, he will send me to Dr. Young to have my port removed! It will be nice to close this chapter of active treatment and move on!
I can't believe that the first quarter of school is already gone! Joey is finishing up soccer at HPCS with the State Tournament next week. He is also in the play Matchmaker and has been busy with rehearsals. We had a wonderful time at the Family Conference at the Wilds a few weeks back! I love Fall and I will be glad when our "summer" days of Fall are over and we get to the nice mild weather we're used to around here!
Thanks for all your meals, cards, and prayers as I finished up my Herceptin. God is good!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
"Before You Ask"
"For your Father knows what you need before you ask him." Matthew 6:8
I wanted to share how the Lord has worked in my medical situations over the past 2 or 3 months. I have had problems with the lymphedema in my arm since spring. I did a demo with a machine called the Flexitouch in June. I will finally get it delivered to me with no cost tomorrow!I have been on several "rabbit trails" trying to find someone to help me with the expense. I was originally told I was out of network and my insurance would not pay. So I tried private non-profit cancer organizations and came to a dead end. Then I did a demo with another pump that was in network, just not as good as the Flexitouch . The next day I received a call saying that my insurance would pay for the Flexitouch, the machine I wanted! They even worked it out to waive the remaining balance so that I could get the pump with no charge to me! So many of you have been specifically praying with me for this and I thank you so much! I was tempted to think that if I had just stuck with the original plan in June that I wouldn't have had to wait so long to get it. But then the Lord showed me that every path He took me down during this process has led to a blessing that I wouldn't have had were it not for going on the "rabbit trails"! The local non-profit organizations could not help with the pump, but gave monetary assistance with medical bills. The lady who did the demo with the other pump told me my compression sleeves shouldn't be so loose after just 3 months. So they called the company and they are sending 2 new sleeves to replace the ones I have now! Then as the Lord pulled me back on the Flexitouch path, I was able to get this machine without any cost to me at all! It has been an amazing experience seeing how the Lord uses "rabbit trails" for my good.
I am having my next to the last Herceptin today. I will finish 3 weeks from today! I hope to have the training nurse out to set up my Flexitouch this week, so I can begin to do the lymphatic drainage that should reduce the swelling in my arm and allow me to decrease the amount of time I wear compression garments.
Thanks again for all your prayers!
I wanted to share how the Lord has worked in my medical situations over the past 2 or 3 months. I have had problems with the lymphedema in my arm since spring. I did a demo with a machine called the Flexitouch in June. I will finally get it delivered to me with no cost tomorrow!I have been on several "rabbit trails" trying to find someone to help me with the expense. I was originally told I was out of network and my insurance would not pay. So I tried private non-profit cancer organizations and came to a dead end. Then I did a demo with another pump that was in network, just not as good as the Flexitouch . The next day I received a call saying that my insurance would pay for the Flexitouch, the machine I wanted! They even worked it out to waive the remaining balance so that I could get the pump with no charge to me! So many of you have been specifically praying with me for this and I thank you so much! I was tempted to think that if I had just stuck with the original plan in June that I wouldn't have had to wait so long to get it. But then the Lord showed me that every path He took me down during this process has led to a blessing that I wouldn't have had were it not for going on the "rabbit trails"! The local non-profit organizations could not help with the pump, but gave monetary assistance with medical bills. The lady who did the demo with the other pump told me my compression sleeves shouldn't be so loose after just 3 months. So they called the company and they are sending 2 new sleeves to replace the ones I have now! Then as the Lord pulled me back on the Flexitouch path, I was able to get this machine without any cost to me at all! It has been an amazing experience seeing how the Lord uses "rabbit trails" for my good.
I am having my next to the last Herceptin today. I will finish 3 weeks from today! I hope to have the training nurse out to set up my Flexitouch this week, so I can begin to do the lymphatic drainage that should reduce the swelling in my arm and allow me to decrease the amount of time I wear compression garments.
Thanks again for all your prayers!
Monday, August 2, 2010
"What we call the process, God calls the end."
Journal Entry-August 2, 2010
"What we call the process, God calls the end. What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process-that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God...God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers
The end of summer lies just around the bend and the last minute "rush" is on to try and finish all the "projects" I planned to accomplish this summer. My relaxing days of reading a book just for fun are over as long range math plans, buying school clothes and textbooks, and ideas for setting up my classroom occupy my thoughts. I am very goal oriented and the reaching the end of these goals is what motivates me. But God sees it differently. To him, the process to those goals is the end. My seeing Him walk on the chaos of my life should be my only goal!
I have completed 3 out of 7 Herceptin treatments. This week I've really felt drained after the treatment. The first 48 hours after the treatment are not very enjoyable. The next Herceptin will be the afternoon of my first day of school with my new class, September 16.
We are back from vacation and trying to enjoy these last days of freedom! Joey left for camp with over 70 kids from Hampton Park today. He will be at Appalachian Bible Camp enjoying God's creation through adventure recreation. I know he will have a tremendous time and we are praying for the Lord to speak to all of the youth through the activities of the week.
I am also preparing to be a mentor to a new 4K teacher, Amanda Graves. This is her first classroom job and she is looking forward to these little ones! It will be a great year for both of us with her youth and creativity! I am also beginning a new part time job as a Kindergarten trainer for the "Math Out of the Box" curriculum developed by Clemson University. I will be flying to Indiana on August 31 to teach a one day training session on Sept. 1. I would appreciate your prayers as I fly on those two days. There is an increased risk of swelling with air travel and I'm trusting my lymphedema will not worsen. Also I would ask that you pray as I seek help from some national cancer foundations in getting a lymphedema pump. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am praying that the Lord will lead me to an organization that can purchase this machine for me. It would help me manage my lymphedema at home and not have to rely on physical therapy. It would hopefully prevent the need for any more bandaging. I've had some type of compression on my left arm around the clock for 2 months! When I did a demo with this machine, it worked great, so thanks for joining me as I pray for this need to be met.
Thanks for all of you who are praying for me as I finish these Herceptin treatments and begin a new school year!
"What we call the process, God calls the end. What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process-that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that it is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God...God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious." Oswald Chambers
The end of summer lies just around the bend and the last minute "rush" is on to try and finish all the "projects" I planned to accomplish this summer. My relaxing days of reading a book just for fun are over as long range math plans, buying school clothes and textbooks, and ideas for setting up my classroom occupy my thoughts. I am very goal oriented and the reaching the end of these goals is what motivates me. But God sees it differently. To him, the process to those goals is the end. My seeing Him walk on the chaos of my life should be my only goal!
I have completed 3 out of 7 Herceptin treatments. This week I've really felt drained after the treatment. The first 48 hours after the treatment are not very enjoyable. The next Herceptin will be the afternoon of my first day of school with my new class, September 16.
We are back from vacation and trying to enjoy these last days of freedom! Joey left for camp with over 70 kids from Hampton Park today. He will be at Appalachian Bible Camp enjoying God's creation through adventure recreation. I know he will have a tremendous time and we are praying for the Lord to speak to all of the youth through the activities of the week.
I am also preparing to be a mentor to a new 4K teacher, Amanda Graves. This is her first classroom job and she is looking forward to these little ones! It will be a great year for both of us with her youth and creativity! I am also beginning a new part time job as a Kindergarten trainer for the "Math Out of the Box" curriculum developed by Clemson University. I will be flying to Indiana on August 31 to teach a one day training session on Sept. 1. I would appreciate your prayers as I fly on those two days. There is an increased risk of swelling with air travel and I'm trusting my lymphedema will not worsen. Also I would ask that you pray as I seek help from some national cancer foundations in getting a lymphedema pump. My insurance will not cover the cost and I am praying that the Lord will lead me to an organization that can purchase this machine for me. It would help me manage my lymphedema at home and not have to rely on physical therapy. It would hopefully prevent the need for any more bandaging. I've had some type of compression on my left arm around the clock for 2 months! When I did a demo with this machine, it worked great, so thanks for joining me as I pray for this need to be met.
Thanks for all of you who are praying for me as I finish these Herceptin treatments and begin a new school year!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Recognizing Jesus
Journal Entry-June 19, 2010
'And Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let the actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him." From My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
What are your circumstances today or this week? My circumstances have revolved around trying to cope with a bound up left arm due to lymphedema swelling! The bandages are very tight and sometimes painful. I was hoping to only have to do it for one week, but I'm still in them-24/7-and will have to go to PT for the next few weeks. No doubt there are many of you that have little to complain about right now in life and just as many, if not more, who's circumstances have led you down difficult paths this week. I know my heart is heavy with the burden of prayer, particularly for those in our church family that are struggling through cancer treatments right now.
But isn't it great to know that no matter what the current circumstances of our lives, as long as we recognize Jesus in them, we can "walk on water" and rise above them!
'And Peter...walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
"The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let the actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him." From My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
What are your circumstances today or this week? My circumstances have revolved around trying to cope with a bound up left arm due to lymphedema swelling! The bandages are very tight and sometimes painful. I was hoping to only have to do it for one week, but I'm still in them-24/7-and will have to go to PT for the next few weeks. No doubt there are many of you that have little to complain about right now in life and just as many, if not more, who's circumstances have led you down difficult paths this week. I know my heart is heavy with the burden of prayer, particularly for those in our church family that are struggling through cancer treatments right now.
But isn't it great to know that no matter what the current circumstances of our lives, as long as we recognize Jesus in them, we can "walk on water" and rise above them!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
A Visit from "Moses"
Journal Entry-June 8, 2010
I never thought I would be able to say it, but I had a visit from "Moses" today at the Cancer Center! Mr. Moses, that is! But he was sent to me from God just like the Moses of the Bible was sent to the Israelites!
I came to the Cancer Center to get the first of 7 Herceptin treatments. Even though new guidelines say that Herceptin can be given over a 30 minute drip, my nurse decided to leave it at the 90 min. drip for me because of the past issues with my heart.
All was fine until about an hour into the treatment. I started feeling a little sick and my head felt a little strange. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I called my nurse. She tilted me back and took my blood pressure. It was 140/86. She called Dr. Go and he told her to give me some Decadron. After he left, I was crying as a man was walking through my area. He was dressed in a suit and had a gold cross around his neck. He immediately started telling me there was no need to cry, but I should just trust the Lord. Cassie told me his name was Mr. Moses and that he was a pastor that visits the Chemo room regularly. He told me he had a word from the Lord for me-to let go and let God handle the burden. He said he knew I was a child of God's and God was telling him to tell me that I didn't need to cry any more because it was already taken care of. Then he prayed for me. After the Decadron, I finished the last of the Herceptin. My blood pressure and pulse rate was lower and I went home to rest.
How wonderful is God's plan for us that even in our darkest times, He provides messengers with His Word for us!
I never thought I would be able to say it, but I had a visit from "Moses" today at the Cancer Center! Mr. Moses, that is! But he was sent to me from God just like the Moses of the Bible was sent to the Israelites!
I came to the Cancer Center to get the first of 7 Herceptin treatments. Even though new guidelines say that Herceptin can be given over a 30 minute drip, my nurse decided to leave it at the 90 min. drip for me because of the past issues with my heart.
All was fine until about an hour into the treatment. I started feeling a little sick and my head felt a little strange. I felt like I was going to pass out, so I called my nurse. She tilted me back and took my blood pressure. It was 140/86. She called Dr. Go and he told her to give me some Decadron. After he left, I was crying as a man was walking through my area. He was dressed in a suit and had a gold cross around his neck. He immediately started telling me there was no need to cry, but I should just trust the Lord. Cassie told me his name was Mr. Moses and that he was a pastor that visits the Chemo room regularly. He told me he had a word from the Lord for me-to let go and let God handle the burden. He said he knew I was a child of God's and God was telling him to tell me that I didn't need to cry any more because it was already taken care of. Then he prayed for me. After the Decadron, I finished the last of the Herceptin. My blood pressure and pulse rate was lower and I went home to rest.
How wonderful is God's plan for us that even in our darkest times, He provides messengers with His Word for us!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
The Patience of Faith
Journal Entry-May 29, 2010
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
"Because thou hast kept the word of My patience." Rev. 3:10
"Patience is more than endurance. A saint's life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, and He stretches and strains, and every now and again the saint says-"I cannot stand it any more." God does not heed, He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in God's hands. For what have you need of the patience of faith just now? Maintain your relationship to Jesus Christ by the patience of faith. "Though He slay me, yet will I wait for Him."
Faith is not a pathetic sentiment, but robust vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. You cannot see Him just now, you cannot understand what He is doing, but you know Him. Shipwreck occurs where there is not that mental poise which comes from being established on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the heroic effort of your life, you fling yourself in reckless confidence on God.
God has ventured all in Jesus Christ to save us, now He wants us to venture our all in abandoned confidence on Him. There are spots where that faith has not worked in us as yet, places untouched by the life of God. There were none of those spots in Jesus Christ's life, and there are to be none in ours. "This is eternal life, that they might know Thee." The real meaning of eternal life is a life that can face anything it has to face without wavering. If we take this view, life becomes one great romance, a glorious opportunity for seeing marvelous things all the time. God is disciplining us to get us into this central place of power."
My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
These words have been comforting to me the past few weeks as God has stretched and strained me and I have wondered in which direction He would send me. But as I have moved forward in faith, He has placed me in the peaceful center of His will.
My Echo showed that my heart has returned to full function! As strong as it was following chemo last year. This is a good sign and means that the damage was the reversible kind from the Herceptin and not the permanent kind from chemo. But this has led Dr. Go to decide that he wants me to complete the last 7 rounds of Herceptin. I will begin on June 8 and have a treatment through my port every 3 weeks. Most of the treatments will be during the summer, which will be good. Please pray for minimal side-effects. Last year the side-effects did not start to really get bad until around the 7th or 8th time. So I'm praying that this time they won't get as bad since I'll only have 7 treatments.
Four more days of school! Can't wait!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song!"
Journal Entry-May 16, 2010
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
"For the LORD your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory." Deuteronomy 20:4
"Happy Birthday is a Victory Song" is the theme for the 2010 Relay for Life. As I walked my first Survivor Lap I was reminded that it is the Lord who gives us the victory!! Joe, Joey, and Anna were able to walk their Caregiver Lap. It was a wonderful time of joy and remembrance.
The crazy days of May have begun! Joey and the Hampton Park Panther Band rode in the Armed Forces Day Parade this weekend. Anna had her voice recital. Dr. Gococo sent me for a repeat Echo on my heart to see if my heart function has gone up. He is contemplating whether or not he wants me to finish those last 7 Herceptin treatments. I go back to him for results on May 25. I would like to ask you to specifically pray for the fluid retention in my feet and legs. It has gotten to the point of being painful. It may be caused by low heart function or it may be a side effect of Tamoxifen. Either way, it's becoming a daily concern. Thanks for your faithful prayers and support!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
The Graciousness of Uncertainty
Journal Entry-May 2, 2010
"Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing...The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty...Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day will bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time...Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next...Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him." Oswald Chambers-My Utmost For His Highest
I really needed these words this week and I hope they are a blessing to you, as well. Uncertainty is one thing that I fear, even before my cancer diagnosis. But now, even more, I need to be watching and waiting to see how God is going to move in my life and not miss any opportunities He gives me to serve Him.
I'd like to ask you to pray for the family of Pam, a friend from my oncology rehabilitation class last summer. She lost her 16 month battle with breast cancer this past week. We were diagnosed the same month last year. She was always smiling, with her bandana on her head! Her hair wasn't growing back as fast as it should've and she was desperately hoping for some! The last time I saw her, I gave her a little bottle of shampoo and a tube of mascara as she waited for hair! She said in her comment on my blog in August that she had been encouraged from the verses many of you shared with me. Thank you all as you continue to lift me up, so I can share this encouragement with others.
"We're uncertain of the next step, but certain of God."
"Naturally, we are inclined to be so mathematical and calculating that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing...The nature of spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty...Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life; gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, we do not know what a day will bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness, it should be rather an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. Immediately we abandon to God, and do the duty that lies nearest, He packs our life with surprises all the time...Spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, but uncertain of what He is going to do next...Leave the whole thing to Him, it is gloriously uncertain how He will come in, but He will come. Remain loyal to Him." Oswald Chambers-My Utmost For His Highest
I really needed these words this week and I hope they are a blessing to you, as well. Uncertainty is one thing that I fear, even before my cancer diagnosis. But now, even more, I need to be watching and waiting to see how God is going to move in my life and not miss any opportunities He gives me to serve Him.
I'd like to ask you to pray for the family of Pam, a friend from my oncology rehabilitation class last summer. She lost her 16 month battle with breast cancer this past week. We were diagnosed the same month last year. She was always smiling, with her bandana on her head! Her hair wasn't growing back as fast as it should've and she was desperately hoping for some! The last time I saw her, I gave her a little bottle of shampoo and a tube of mascara as she waited for hair! She said in her comment on my blog in August that she had been encouraged from the verses many of you shared with me. Thank you all as you continue to lift me up, so I can share this encouragement with others.
"We're uncertain of the next step, but certain of God."
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
There and back again!
Journal Entry-April 28, 2010
Anna and I had a wonderful time in Williamsburg! I had never been and really enjoyed seeing what our country was like during the time of the Revolution. Not so far removed from the feelings of patriotism and freedom we feel today!
I am having to bandage my arm due to swelling from the lymphedema. I was out of my normal routine while travelling last week and had some fluid building up. I should have my new compression sleeves soon.
I have a routine M.R.I. on May 3 and will receive the results the next Tuesday. I'll update then. Thank you so much for praying!
Anna and I had a wonderful time in Williamsburg! I had never been and really enjoyed seeing what our country was like during the time of the Revolution. Not so far removed from the feelings of patriotism and freedom we feel today!
I am having to bandage my arm due to swelling from the lymphedema. I was out of my normal routine while travelling last week and had some fluid building up. I should have my new compression sleeves soon.
I have a routine M.R.I. on May 3 and will receive the results the next Tuesday. I'll update then. Thank you so much for praying!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Williamsburg Bound!
Journal Entry-April 16, 2010
Next Tuesday-Friday I will be going with Anna's sixth grade class to Williamsburg! I am busy and tired, but excited! I would appreciate your prayers for my health and strength as I pack for myself and Anna. Also, pray for Joey and Joe as they "bachelor" it! I'm just so thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to go and enjoy this "once in a lifetime" chance with Anna and her friends! With Anna and Josie and Avari all in one room, I don't know how much sleep Mrs. Rollins and I will get! But it will be great fun!
Next Tuesday-Friday I will be going with Anna's sixth grade class to Williamsburg! I am busy and tired, but excited! I would appreciate your prayers for my health and strength as I pack for myself and Anna. Also, pray for Joey and Joe as they "bachelor" it! I'm just so thankful to the Lord for the opportunity to go and enjoy this "once in a lifetime" chance with Anna and her friends! With Anna and Josie and Avari all in one room, I don't know how much sleep Mrs. Rollins and I will get! But it will be great fun!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Good News!
Journal Entry-Monday, April 5, 2010
My lab results came in and they showed no malignancies! They'll just continue to monitor them every six months on mammograms. I'm still pretty nauseated, so I would appreciate your prayers for that as I return to work tomorrow!
Thanks for your faithful prayers!
My lab results came in and they showed no malignancies! They'll just continue to monitor them every six months on mammograms. I'm still pretty nauseated, so I would appreciate your prayers for that as I return to work tomorrow!
Thanks for your faithful prayers!
Friday, April 2, 2010
"He always lives"
Journal Entry-April 2, 2010
"The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but He(Christ) holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." Hebrews 7: 23-25
Thanks to Jean Ann for this verse! Always living and always interceding!
My surgery went well and I am at home. I've had a little nausea and moderate but controllable pain. I have 4 stitches that will have to be removed next Thursday. My path reports did not come in today, so it will be Monday before I know anything. Hopefully all the tissue samples will only show atypical cells. If so, they will just monitor them on mammograms every 6 months. Thanks for your continued prayers and assistance in practical ways!
"The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but He(Christ) holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, He is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." Hebrews 7: 23-25
Thanks to Jean Ann for this verse! Always living and always interceding!
My surgery went well and I am at home. I've had a little nausea and moderate but controllable pain. I have 4 stitches that will have to be removed next Thursday. My path reports did not come in today, so it will be Monday before I know anything. Hopefully all the tissue samples will only show atypical cells. If so, they will just monitor them on mammograms every 6 months. Thanks for your continued prayers and assistance in practical ways!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Taking the Next Step
Journal Entry-March 7, 2010
"But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love, by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;...we live...as having nothing, yet possessing everything." 2 Corinthians 6:4-6, 10b
"It takes Almighty grace to take the next step when there is no vision and no spectator-the next step in devotion, the next step in your study, in your reading, in your kitchen, the next step in your duty, when there is no vision from God, no enthusiasm, and no spectator. It takes far more of the grace of God, far more conscious drawing upon God to take that step, than it does to preach the Gospel. Every Christian has to partake of what was the essence of the Incarnation, he must bring the thing down into flesh and blood actualities and work it out through the fingertips. We flag when there is no vision, no uplift, but just the common round, the trivial task. The thing that tells in the long run for God and for men is the steady persevering work in the unseen, and the only way to keep the life uncrushed is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the Risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to damp you." Take from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.
"But as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love, by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;...we live...as having nothing, yet possessing everything." 2 Corinthians 6:4-6, 10b
"It takes Almighty grace to take the next step when there is no vision and no spectator-the next step in devotion, the next step in your study, in your reading, in your kitchen, the next step in your duty, when there is no vision from God, no enthusiasm, and no spectator. It takes far more of the grace of God, far more conscious drawing upon God to take that step, than it does to preach the Gospel. Every Christian has to partake of what was the essence of the Incarnation, he must bring the thing down into flesh and blood actualities and work it out through the fingertips. We flag when there is no vision, no uplift, but just the common round, the trivial task. The thing that tells in the long run for God and for men is the steady persevering work in the unseen, and the only way to keep the life uncrushed is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the Risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to damp you." Take from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Constant Care
Journal Entry-March 5, 2010
"Yesterday God helped me. Today he'll do the same. How long will this continue? Forever, praise His name!...God cannot afford to fail us. If He fails, then everything in this universe falls to pieces. God must be true to Himself and true to His Word. God cannot lie. His promises are sure and steadfast. If God once failed to care for one of His children, He would lose far more than we would. His very character is at stake! He has promised to care for us, and if He doesn't keep His promise, then He has ceased to be God. You can be sure that this will never happen!"
Taken from The Bumps are What you Climb On by Warren Wiersbe
I'm so thankful for God's constant care for me and all of His children! As I went with Anna today to Fine Arts at Hampton Park, I thought about last year when we were there and how far the Lord has brought me. Even with the "bumps" of the past two months, I am so blessed to be here and be healthy!
I will have an excisional biopsy (outpatient) on March 31 to remove the rest of the atypical cells and get "clear margins". I have now been 6 weeks without going to the cancer center! It is the longest I have gone without having to go there for something! I have not been sick since I finished the antibiotic and stopped the Herceptin. I am not having the back pain either. I am certain it was Herceptin related because I am doing so much better now that I'm off of it. I'm still short of breath and have to stop to take deep breaths during conversations, singing, or walking on inclines. One of my specific prayer requests would be for the Lord to completely restore my heart function over the next few months. I would also ask for prayer for Dr. Rippon to be able to see and remove anything that could possibly become cancerous during my biopsy on the 31st.
Thanks to all of you who have sent cards and spoken to me at church and told me that you are still faithful prayer warriors for me. I can feel the power of those prayers and it spurs me on to pray for others that are battling cancer.
We are in His "constant care"!
"Yesterday God helped me. Today he'll do the same. How long will this continue? Forever, praise His name!...God cannot afford to fail us. If He fails, then everything in this universe falls to pieces. God must be true to Himself and true to His Word. God cannot lie. His promises are sure and steadfast. If God once failed to care for one of His children, He would lose far more than we would. His very character is at stake! He has promised to care for us, and if He doesn't keep His promise, then He has ceased to be God. You can be sure that this will never happen!"
Taken from The Bumps are What you Climb On by Warren Wiersbe
I'm so thankful for God's constant care for me and all of His children! As I went with Anna today to Fine Arts at Hampton Park, I thought about last year when we were there and how far the Lord has brought me. Even with the "bumps" of the past two months, I am so blessed to be here and be healthy!
I will have an excisional biopsy (outpatient) on March 31 to remove the rest of the atypical cells and get "clear margins". I have now been 6 weeks without going to the cancer center! It is the longest I have gone without having to go there for something! I have not been sick since I finished the antibiotic and stopped the Herceptin. I am not having the back pain either. I am certain it was Herceptin related because I am doing so much better now that I'm off of it. I'm still short of breath and have to stop to take deep breaths during conversations, singing, or walking on inclines. One of my specific prayer requests would be for the Lord to completely restore my heart function over the next few months. I would also ask for prayer for Dr. Rippon to be able to see and remove anything that could possibly become cancerous during my biopsy on the 31st.
Thanks to all of you who have sent cards and spoken to me at church and told me that you are still faithful prayer warriors for me. I can feel the power of those prayers and it spurs me on to pray for others that are battling cancer.
We are in His "constant care"!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Permanent Herceptin Holiday
Journal Entry-February 16, 2010
Dr. Go decided to permanently stop my Herceptin treatments due to decreased heart function. At some point in the next few months he will repeat the Echo to see if my heart function has returned to normal. Usually heart damage from Herceptin is not permanent. I can't say that I'm sorry to hear the news! I truly believe that the Herceptin is causing this flu syndrome every 2 or 3 weeks, so hopefully once it is out of my system I'll be feeling better. Dr. Go did give me an antibiotic since I've been sick all weekend.
The next step is scheduling my excisional biopsy in the next few weeks. Thanks for praying!
Dr. Go decided to permanently stop my Herceptin treatments due to decreased heart function. At some point in the next few months he will repeat the Echo to see if my heart function has returned to normal. Usually heart damage from Herceptin is not permanent. I can't say that I'm sorry to hear the news! I truly believe that the Herceptin is causing this flu syndrome every 2 or 3 weeks, so hopefully once it is out of my system I'll be feeling better. Dr. Go did give me an antibiotic since I've been sick all weekend.
The next step is scheduling my excisional biopsy in the next few weeks. Thanks for praying!
Friday, February 12, 2010
"In the Middle"
Journal Entry-February 12, 2010
Out of the three options for my path reports, I fell in the middle! Atypical cells. So I will have to have them all removed and get "clear margins", but I am very happy they aren't malignant. I feel like we are heading this off at the pass. I'm also glad that I was persistent about my concerns with the doctors. Dr. Go and Dr. Rippon have said "You never say never with cancer." Both of them said they felt comfortable not doing anything about these calcifications, but there was no way to know for sure without looking at it. So I'm glad we did! They will schedule the surgery soon and I'll post the date when I know something. I'll get the other test results next Tuesday. Thanks for praying!
Out of the three options for my path reports, I fell in the middle! Atypical cells. So I will have to have them all removed and get "clear margins", but I am very happy they aren't malignant. I feel like we are heading this off at the pass. I'm also glad that I was persistent about my concerns with the doctors. Dr. Go and Dr. Rippon have said "You never say never with cancer." Both of them said they felt comfortable not doing anything about these calcifications, but there was no way to know for sure without looking at it. So I'm glad we did! They will schedule the surgery soon and I'll post the date when I know something. I'll get the other test results next Tuesday. Thanks for praying!
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Herceptin Holiday
Journal Entry-February 11, 2010
I had a Herceptin Holiday this week! I've been having shortness of breath and a heavy feeling in my chest. So Dr. Go put off my Herceptin until I've had an Echocardiogram and chest x-ray. I go back to follow-up with him next Tuesday.
My biopsy went well yesterday. It was actually amazing that they can do that whole process with tissue as small as 2mm! It was very interesting to view the pictures and the sample when it was over. They removed the largest "cluster" of calcifications, but there are still more there. The tissue will either be benign, atypical, or malignant. If they are atypical or malignant I will have to have an outpatient surgical procedure to remove all of them. I may know results tomorrow, but maybe not until Monday. Thanks for your prayers!
I had a Herceptin Holiday this week! I've been having shortness of breath and a heavy feeling in my chest. So Dr. Go put off my Herceptin until I've had an Echocardiogram and chest x-ray. I go back to follow-up with him next Tuesday.
My biopsy went well yesterday. It was actually amazing that they can do that whole process with tissue as small as 2mm! It was very interesting to view the pictures and the sample when it was over. They removed the largest "cluster" of calcifications, but there are still more there. The tissue will either be benign, atypical, or malignant. If they are atypical or malignant I will have to have an outpatient surgical procedure to remove all of them. I may know results tomorrow, but maybe not until Monday. Thanks for your prayers!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
"Much More"
Journal Entry-February 4, 2010
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:30
"Consider how "much more" your Father will clothe you, if you keep your relationship right with Him. Every time we have gone back in spiritual communion it has been because we have impertinently known better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed the cares of the world to come in, and have forgotten the "much more" of our Heavenly Father...If we are not experiencing the "much more" of the Heavenly Father, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us, we are taken up with confusing considerations. How much time have we taken up worrying God with questions when we should have been absolutely free to concentrate on His work? We cannot consecrate once and for all. Am I continually separating myself to consider God every day of my life? The cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lust of other things entering in, will choke all that God puts in. We are never free from the recurring tides of this encroachment. If it does not come along the lines of clothes and food, it will come on the line of money or lack of money; of friends or lack of friends; or on the line of difficult circumstances...Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your Heavenly Father." From My Utmost for His Highest
I'm finding it very hard in this new year to consider the "much more" of my Heavenly Father. The continual encroachment of life is overwhelming at times! I hope this encourages you, as it has me, to keep considering this "much more"! Without it, we are truly lost!
My mammogram from December 29 showed some micro calcifications near the former tumor site. They don't necessarily cause concern, but the only way to tell for sure is to biopsy. I met with Dr. Rippon on Tuesday and she decided to do a "stereotactic needle biopsy". I feel better knowing that they are going to find out for sure what it is and I'm glad it doesn't involve another out-patient surgery. I will have it done next Wednesday, February 10. I'll post results as soon as I have them.
I am slowly realizing that my side effects from the Herceptin are cumulative. I've done some more research to see what I could find out on my own before I discuss them with Dr. Go next Tuesday, February 9.
So many people ask me exactly what Herceptin is and I have a hard time describing it. So here's a definition. It is an antibody designed to target and block the function of HER2, a protein produced by a specific gene with cancer causing potential. Twenty to thirty percent of all breast cancer patients are HER2 positive. Sometimes it is combined with chemo drugs, but it is mostly prescribed the first year following the end of chemotherapy. I was told I would have it by infusion once every 3 weeks for 17 treatments. I have 7 treatments left. At first, the fatigue, runny nose, and back ache were tolerable. But lately I have a persistent cough with outbreaks of cold and flu symptoms every 3 weeks. At first I thought I was just tired and catching everything my class had to offer! But when I looked at the dates it was just too predictable! I'm hoping Dr. Go has something to help with the side effects. I need to stick with it until my last treatment in June. I appreciate all those who are still praying for me and my family! I can feel it daily!
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" Matthew 6:30
"Consider how "much more" your Father will clothe you, if you keep your relationship right with Him. Every time we have gone back in spiritual communion it has been because we have impertinently known better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed the cares of the world to come in, and have forgotten the "much more" of our Heavenly Father...If we are not experiencing the "much more" of the Heavenly Father, it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us, we are taken up with confusing considerations. How much time have we taken up worrying God with questions when we should have been absolutely free to concentrate on His work? We cannot consecrate once and for all. Am I continually separating myself to consider God every day of my life? The cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lust of other things entering in, will choke all that God puts in. We are never free from the recurring tides of this encroachment. If it does not come along the lines of clothes and food, it will come on the line of money or lack of money; of friends or lack of friends; or on the line of difficult circumstances...Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your Heavenly Father." From My Utmost for His Highest
I'm finding it very hard in this new year to consider the "much more" of my Heavenly Father. The continual encroachment of life is overwhelming at times! I hope this encourages you, as it has me, to keep considering this "much more"! Without it, we are truly lost!
My mammogram from December 29 showed some micro calcifications near the former tumor site. They don't necessarily cause concern, but the only way to tell for sure is to biopsy. I met with Dr. Rippon on Tuesday and she decided to do a "stereotactic needle biopsy". I feel better knowing that they are going to find out for sure what it is and I'm glad it doesn't involve another out-patient surgery. I will have it done next Wednesday, February 10. I'll post results as soon as I have them.
I am slowly realizing that my side effects from the Herceptin are cumulative. I've done some more research to see what I could find out on my own before I discuss them with Dr. Go next Tuesday, February 9.
So many people ask me exactly what Herceptin is and I have a hard time describing it. So here's a definition. It is an antibody designed to target and block the function of HER2, a protein produced by a specific gene with cancer causing potential. Twenty to thirty percent of all breast cancer patients are HER2 positive. Sometimes it is combined with chemo drugs, but it is mostly prescribed the first year following the end of chemotherapy. I was told I would have it by infusion once every 3 weeks for 17 treatments. I have 7 treatments left. At first, the fatigue, runny nose, and back ache were tolerable. But lately I have a persistent cough with outbreaks of cold and flu symptoms every 3 weeks. At first I thought I was just tired and catching everything my class had to offer! But when I looked at the dates it was just too predictable! I'm hoping Dr. Go has something to help with the side effects. I need to stick with it until my last treatment in June. I appreciate all those who are still praying for me and my family! I can feel it daily!
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