Saturday, October 8, 2011

"Restore me to health and make me live!"

October 8, 2011

"A writing, Hezekiah, King of Judah, after he has been sick and had recovered from his sickness:
I said, in the middle of my days I must depart;...I said, I shall not see the LORD, the LORD in the land of the living; I shall look on man no more among the inhabitants of the world...Like a weaver I have rolled up my life; he cuts me off from the loom; from day to night you bring me to an end; I calmed myself until morning; like a lion he breaks all my bones, from day to night you bring me to an end. Like a swallow...I chirp; I moan like a dove, my eyes are weary with looking upward. O LORD, I am oppressed; be my pledge of safety! What shall I say? For He has spoken to me, and He Himself has done it. I walk slowly all my years because of the bitterness of my soul. O LORD, by these things men live, and in all these is the life of the spirit. Oh, restore me to health and make me live! Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back. For Sheol does not thank you; death does not praise you. Those who go down to the pit do not hope for your faithfulness. The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day...The Lord will save me." Excerpts from Isaiah 38:9-20

I have found much comfort from this passage this week as often I have thought, "from day to night you bring me to an end". I find comfort in being able to relate to Hezekiah's description of his illness and I find hope in his final words after he is healed, "The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day"!

Some of you have asked specifically how you could pray for me as I go through this 21 day cycle for 4 more rounds of chemo. So I thought I'd share what a typical cycle is like for me.
Day 1 and 2 of chemo, I feel relatively good because the premeds and other medications counteract the chemo and help with side effects. Days 3-10 are the most difficult. I have many side effects in my respiratory and digestive systems as the linings of these organs are raw from irritation. The chemo kills the top layer of skin cells and at least one underneath. This makes the tissues vulnerable, like an open wound, until my body goes through its natural cell regeneration cycle and is able to make new cells to protect it. Nausea, dehydration, and a chemical taste are always present. I cannot drink coffee because the linings of my mouth and throat are sensitive to hot food and drinks and the smell makes me nauseated. I have flu-like muscle and bone pain, heaviness in my limbs, and experience extreme fatigue and shortness of breath from the anemia. I have a higher risk of infection during this time. My fingers and toes are numb and some days the bottoms of my feet hurt. Sometimes one side effect will get better only to be replaced by another and sometimes, I have 3 or 4 hitting me all at once. It is a time of "doing the next thing" and pressing forward because I know that is what will get me to better days. I really feel the sustaining power of your prayer during these days.
Days 11-16 I feel better and I can eat better. I still have aches and exhaustion but I am able to go without naps when I get home from school. I can finally drink coffee again!! It is a time of catching up on things at work and at home. My memory always plagues me! Ironically, I don't remember being forgetful last time during chemo! I'm thankful for grace and patience from those around me as I struggle with this "chemo-brain".
Days 17-21 are when my "nesting instinct" kicks in and I stay busy trying to get everything lined up at school for my absences and at home because I know I will be feeling poorly.

This week I specifically ask for prayer in the following ways:

Infection-I am on an antibiotic for an upper respiratory infection. I have been and still am running a low grade fever. Pray that this antibiotic will boost my body’s response to this infection and I will be ready for my next chemo as scheduled.

Parent Conferences-20 in 4 days this week!!

Monday-P.T.A. Math and Science Night at school

Thursday-Joe, Joey, and I will be traveling to Columbia for a campus tour of U.S.C. and the Honors College. I have been looking forward to this for a long time and I covet your prayers for my strength. It involves a 2 hour walking tour!

On the lighter side, I have been wanted to give you a glimpse into my first 12 days back to school. So here it is: "The 12 Days Back to School" (to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas")

It's the 12th day back to school and what do I see?

12 exhausted parents! (We went on a field trip to the apple orchard and pumpkin patch. The first field trip always gives my parents an appreciation for my assistant and me and what we accomplish every day with 20 four year olds!)

11 cries for "Teacher"! (I do have a name! I don't call you "Student"!)

10 "Sad Notes" home! (For reasons such as talking incessantly at the wrong times, using our hands and feet to solve our problems instead of our words, not keeping our "5 Things" together: eyes on the teacher, ears open, mouth closed, hands on our laps, criss-cross applesauce, etc.)

9 runny noses (Praise God for Germ-X!)

8 kids on "green" lights! ("Green" lights are good! Halleluiah!)

7 shoes to tie! (Daily! Sometimes all the same shoe! I have one word for my parents-Velcro!)

6 days of rain! (NO RECESS!!)

5 calls to parents (Not for celebrating!)

4 parent conferences (Again-not for celebrating!)

3 toilet accidents (Sometimes all in one day!)

2 bumps on the head (Requiring ice and attention from Nurse Penny!)

And (ironically)...1 teacher who's glad to be back at school!