Journal Entry-December 31, 2009
"For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go in flight, for the Lord will go before you, and the God of Israel will be your rear guard." Isaiah 52:12
"At the end of the year we turn with eagerness to all that God has for the future, and yet anxiety is apt to arise from remembering yesterdays. Our present enjoyment of God's grace is apt to be checked by our memory of yesterday's sins and blunders. But God is the God of our yesterdays, and He allows the memory of them in order to turn the past into a ministry of spiritual culture for the future. God reminds us of the past lest we get into a shallow security of the present.
"For the Lord will go before you". This is a gracious revelation, that God will garrison where we have failed to. He will watch lest things trip us up again into like failure, as they assuredly would do if He were not our "rear guard". God's hand reaches back to the past and makes a clearing house for the conscience...Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.
Leave the Irreparable Past in His hands, and step out into the Irresistible Future with Him!"
Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"O Come, Thou Dayspring"
Journal Entry-December 22, 2009
"O Come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer our spirits by thy coming here; Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to Thee, O Isreal!"
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I enjoyed being able to go to the the cantata at church and sing it on Sunday night. I am enjoying my first few days off from work, although it is very busy with tying up loose ends for gifts and shopping. We visited my Nana yesterday at her nursing home. Joey and Anna played and sang for them. They were so appreciative and truly enjoyed singing with us! They were making requests for Joey! He did some pretty good sight reading!
We will enjoy our Christmas visits with family here in town later this week. Joe will have knee surgery on Tuesday, December 29, to repair a torn meniscus. I have my first Herceptin treatment with my port on Monday, December 28.
We wish everyone a blessed and merry Christmas with your families!
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:11-14
"O Come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer our spirits by thy coming here; Disperse the gloomy clouds of night, and death's dark shadows put to flight. Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to Thee, O Isreal!"
This is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I enjoyed being able to go to the the cantata at church and sing it on Sunday night. I am enjoying my first few days off from work, although it is very busy with tying up loose ends for gifts and shopping. We visited my Nana yesterday at her nursing home. Joey and Anna played and sang for them. They were so appreciative and truly enjoyed singing with us! They were making requests for Joey! He did some pretty good sight reading!
We will enjoy our Christmas visits with family here in town later this week. Joe will have knee surgery on Tuesday, December 29, to repair a torn meniscus. I have my first Herceptin treatment with my port on Monday, December 28.
We wish everyone a blessed and merry Christmas with your families!
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:11-14
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
One Year Ago
Journal Entry-December 8, 2009
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the knowledge of Him everywhere." 2 Cor. 2:14
It was one year ago this week that my doctor found my tumor and sent me for further testing. It hardly seems possible that it has been one year. Sometimes I feel like I've aged many years in this year and other times I feel like I've stood still. I can hardly remember what life was like before this cancer. But before I knew anything, God knew it all and He still does!
I will be having outpatient surgery this Thursday at 2:00 to have my port put in. I wanted to wait until closer to Christmas break, but this was the only time Dr. Young could do it. I would appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this at home and at work. Anna's birthday party is Friday, so especially pray that I will not be sick from the anesthesia and feel like doing all I need to do to prepare for her party! Anna had her Christmas Voice Recital last night. Joey will have exams next week for the first time and has his piano recital and first basketball game Saturday. This month is always is a blur of activities! I have to pray daily for help in focusing on the real reason for it all!
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
"But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the knowledge of Him everywhere." 2 Cor. 2:14
It was one year ago this week that my doctor found my tumor and sent me for further testing. It hardly seems possible that it has been one year. Sometimes I feel like I've aged many years in this year and other times I feel like I've stood still. I can hardly remember what life was like before this cancer. But before I knew anything, God knew it all and He still does!
I will be having outpatient surgery this Thursday at 2:00 to have my port put in. I wanted to wait until closer to Christmas break, but this was the only time Dr. Young could do it. I would appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this at home and at work. Anna's birthday party is Friday, so especially pray that I will not be sick from the anesthesia and feel like doing all I need to do to prepare for her party! Anna had her Christmas Voice Recital last night. Joey will have exams next week for the first time and has his piano recital and first basketball game Saturday. This month is always is a blur of activities! I have to pray daily for help in focusing on the real reason for it all!
"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."
Isaiah 9:6
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
"He will Deliver Us Again"
Journal Entry-November 17, 2009
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."
2 Corinthians 1:8-11
I must admit that there have been several times in the past few weeks that I have "despaired of life itself". The strain of life is sometimes overwhelming. Then I am put to shame when I consider what Paul must have endured to get to that point in these verses! Certainly much more than I have to endure! Yet, the conclusion of the matter is the same: "He will deliver us again"!
All of the "big" tests that I have had done in the past weeks have come back with positive results. This is such an answer to prayer! It is certainly a blessing granted to me through the "prayers of many". I am still having back pain, but have come to the point where I believe it is the Herceptin. It is a side effect of Herceptin 22% of the time. Dr. Go said that the Herceptin should not have a cumulative effect like the chemo, so he doesn't believe it will worsen over time. I spoke with him about the problems of not being able to find good veins in my right arm for the Herceptin treatments. I have 10 more to go after today, so he feels that a port may be a good thing. I want to still have some good veins left after this is all over with! I am also getting a bit anxious every time I have to have a stick. I will try to schedule it before the end of the year since it will cost less than waiting until January. It should be a short outpatient procedure with a quick recovery time.
I have gone back to physical therapy to learn manual lymph drainage techniques. I have not been wearing my compression sleeve lately because the swelling was so much better. But over the past few weeks, the fluid has been building up and now my arm is pretty swollen. I will probably be getting a new type of sleeve and glove for day and one I can wear at night. This, along with learning the manual lymph drainage techniques, should help with the swelling. The down side is PT twice a week for at least two weeks!
I was able to get my H1N1 shot at the Cancer Center today while I got my Herceptin treatment! I was going to get in line for a long wait at the Greenville Co. Schools Clinic when I left here today. Praise the Lord I didn't have to!
Joey's finger is recovering well. The infection is finally clearing up after two rounds of antibiotics. It is still swollen and a little painful when he bends it for therapy. He did not make the HPCS JV team, but is playing basketball for Edwards Road Baptist Church. He is on the middle school team and should have a lot of chances to be a "leader". This will build his confidence and skills. The Lord has also given him a chance to be a godly influence and intercessor for boys he would normally not come into contact with. This has been a great spiritual growth experience for him and we are confident the Lord has him where he needs to be! Thank you for praying with us. My little "Songbird" Anna placed first in the Vocal Solo Run-offs for 4th-6th grade last week! She sang "Stand Up for Jesus" and "Brethren We Have Met to Worship". She will represent HPCS in the Fine Arts Festival in March.
I am counting the days until the Thanksgiving and Christmas Breaks. Just to have some days to catch up on sleep will be so nice! I've had 3 new students in less than a month! It's nice to know that some time off is just around the bend!
"On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many."
2 Corinthians 1:8-11
I must admit that there have been several times in the past few weeks that I have "despaired of life itself". The strain of life is sometimes overwhelming. Then I am put to shame when I consider what Paul must have endured to get to that point in these verses! Certainly much more than I have to endure! Yet, the conclusion of the matter is the same: "He will deliver us again"!
All of the "big" tests that I have had done in the past weeks have come back with positive results. This is such an answer to prayer! It is certainly a blessing granted to me through the "prayers of many". I am still having back pain, but have come to the point where I believe it is the Herceptin. It is a side effect of Herceptin 22% of the time. Dr. Go said that the Herceptin should not have a cumulative effect like the chemo, so he doesn't believe it will worsen over time. I spoke with him about the problems of not being able to find good veins in my right arm for the Herceptin treatments. I have 10 more to go after today, so he feels that a port may be a good thing. I want to still have some good veins left after this is all over with! I am also getting a bit anxious every time I have to have a stick. I will try to schedule it before the end of the year since it will cost less than waiting until January. It should be a short outpatient procedure with a quick recovery time.
I have gone back to physical therapy to learn manual lymph drainage techniques. I have not been wearing my compression sleeve lately because the swelling was so much better. But over the past few weeks, the fluid has been building up and now my arm is pretty swollen. I will probably be getting a new type of sleeve and glove for day and one I can wear at night. This, along with learning the manual lymph drainage techniques, should help with the swelling. The down side is PT twice a week for at least two weeks!
I was able to get my H1N1 shot at the Cancer Center today while I got my Herceptin treatment! I was going to get in line for a long wait at the Greenville Co. Schools Clinic when I left here today. Praise the Lord I didn't have to!
Joey's finger is recovering well. The infection is finally clearing up after two rounds of antibiotics. It is still swollen and a little painful when he bends it for therapy. He did not make the HPCS JV team, but is playing basketball for Edwards Road Baptist Church. He is on the middle school team and should have a lot of chances to be a "leader". This will build his confidence and skills. The Lord has also given him a chance to be a godly influence and intercessor for boys he would normally not come into contact with. This has been a great spiritual growth experience for him and we are confident the Lord has him where he needs to be! Thank you for praying with us. My little "Songbird" Anna placed first in the Vocal Solo Run-offs for 4th-6th grade last week! She sang "Stand Up for Jesus" and "Brethren We Have Met to Worship". She will represent HPCS in the Fine Arts Festival in March.
I am counting the days until the Thanksgiving and Christmas Breaks. Just to have some days to catch up on sleep will be so nice! I've had 3 new students in less than a month! It's nice to know that some time off is just around the bend!
"On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again."
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
"The Paths of the Lord"
Journal Entry-October 27, 2009
Psalm 25:10
"All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."
Dr. Go did not see anything in my blood work that would make him suspect kidney problems and he is sure that the Tamoxifen is not the cause of my back pain. He feels like it is just post-chemo skeletal and muscle pain and that some therapy might help. He wants me to go to a physical therapist that specializes in back pain. I am not so sure right now that I will go. I hardly have time now to do the physical therapy for the lymphodema, much less more exercises for my back! I am relieved that there is no obvious reason for the pain. I am going to try to find the time to start walking again and maybe that will help.
Even when our paths don't seem to be just what we expected, all of the Lord's paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.
Psalm 25:10
"All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies."
Dr. Go did not see anything in my blood work that would make him suspect kidney problems and he is sure that the Tamoxifen is not the cause of my back pain. He feels like it is just post-chemo skeletal and muscle pain and that some therapy might help. He wants me to go to a physical therapist that specializes in back pain. I am not so sure right now that I will go. I hardly have time now to do the physical therapy for the lymphodema, much less more exercises for my back! I am relieved that there is no obvious reason for the pain. I am going to try to find the time to start walking again and maybe that will help.
Even when our paths don't seem to be just what we expected, all of the Lord's paths are steadfast love and faithfulness.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
"In the Land of the Living"
Journal Entry-October 24, 2009
"I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live...For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living...What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?...I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." Psalm 116:1,6,12,17
What a beautiful fall day! Joe has taken Anna to her Voice Class and is doing some grocery shopping for me. Joey is on Lake Murray with Papa having some boating practice since he received his S.C. Boating License. And I am home resting from a virus and possible kidney infection. I started running a fever Thursday and reached an all time high on my back pain. They did flu tests, strep test, and blood work. No flu or strep, but my white blood cells were up and their were signs of possible kidney infection. The final labs will be in on Monday. I go to see Dr. Go on Tuesday for more labs, Herceptin, and to discuss the back pain. I have Polycystic Kidney Disease, but have never had any infections or problems from it. I'm assuming he'll probably order an ultrasound to see if there are any changes since my last one over 5 years ago.
Joey is set to get his pins out next Tuesday, Nov. 3, if x-rays taken that day show the bone has healed. If he gets the pins out, the doctor said he can "buddy tape" the finger and go straight to basketball try-outs. Hopefully he can show his "stuff" in 2 or 3 days and make the team! This has been a faith-walk for him. He has prayed over that finger daily. Last week the doctor and physical therapist were surprised at the healing his finger had done in such a short time, so Joey is seeing first hand the results of his diligent prayers! Thanks for all who are praying for me and him and our family! We are truly blessed!
"I love the Lord because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live...For you have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling; I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living...What shall I render to the Lord for all his benefits to me?...I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord." Psalm 116:1,6,12,17
What a beautiful fall day! Joe has taken Anna to her Voice Class and is doing some grocery shopping for me. Joey is on Lake Murray with Papa having some boating practice since he received his S.C. Boating License. And I am home resting from a virus and possible kidney infection. I started running a fever Thursday and reached an all time high on my back pain. They did flu tests, strep test, and blood work. No flu or strep, but my white blood cells were up and their were signs of possible kidney infection. The final labs will be in on Monday. I go to see Dr. Go on Tuesday for more labs, Herceptin, and to discuss the back pain. I have Polycystic Kidney Disease, but have never had any infections or problems from it. I'm assuming he'll probably order an ultrasound to see if there are any changes since my last one over 5 years ago.
Joey is set to get his pins out next Tuesday, Nov. 3, if x-rays taken that day show the bone has healed. If he gets the pins out, the doctor said he can "buddy tape" the finger and go straight to basketball try-outs. Hopefully he can show his "stuff" in 2 or 3 days and make the team! This has been a faith-walk for him. He has prayed over that finger daily. Last week the doctor and physical therapist were surprised at the healing his finger had done in such a short time, so Joey is seeing first hand the results of his diligent prayers! Thanks for all who are praying for me and him and our family! We are truly blessed!
Monday, October 19, 2009
PET Results
Journal Entry-October 19, 2009
I was glad to get good news today from my doctor! My PET results do not show any sign of malignancy! Now that the worst case senario is ruled out, I will see Dr. Gococo next week to discuss other possible causes of the pain in my back. Hopefully it is just a reaction to one of the medicines and we can adjust them to ease the pain. Joey gets his stitches out tomorrow! Thanks for all the prayers!
I was glad to get good news today from my doctor! My PET results do not show any sign of malignancy! Now that the worst case senario is ruled out, I will see Dr. Gococo next week to discuss other possible causes of the pain in my back. Hopefully it is just a reaction to one of the medicines and we can adjust them to ease the pain. Joey gets his stitches out tomorrow! Thanks for all the prayers!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Getting Into God's Stride
Journal Entry-October 12, 2009
"It is difficult to get into stride with God, because when we start walking with Him we find he has outstripped us before we have taken three steps. He has different ways of doing things, and we have to be trained and disciplined into His ways...Getting into the stride of God means nothing less than union with Himself. It takes a long time to get there, but keep at it. Don't give in because the pain is bad just now, get on with it, and before long you will find you have a new vision and a new purpose." (Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest)
Even in the midst of everyday life, there is comfort when we get into God's stride!
We are home from the surgery center and Joey is doing well. Dr. Rudisill did have to make a small incision to insert the pins, but did not have to insert a plate. He should be ready to go back to school tomorrow as long as he doesn't need pain medicine. Joey just needs to be careful with it as it heals! He goes Thursday for a check-up and to begin physical therapy. We are very thankful that things went as expected and appreciate your prayers!
After eight months of wearing my cranial prosthesis (my wig), I am now going out with my own hair! It is a little scary, but it feels nice! I'm enjoying the curls, even though they have a mind of their own!
I went Friday for my radiation follow-up with Dr. Wilcox. After talking with me about the back pain, she felt it would be a good idea to move my PET scan up to this week instead of waiting until November. So I go on Wednesday. I would appreciate your prayers specifically for my veins, that they would hold up for the IVs. It took 3 tries to find a good one for my last Herceptin and I almost passed out while they were trying! I also have to drink this sweet, thick liquid that makes me very sick. Last time I couldn't even drink half of it! They say the scan works best if I can drink it all, so I'm already praying that I can! I may have the results by Friday.
Thanks for your prayers!
"It is difficult to get into stride with God, because when we start walking with Him we find he has outstripped us before we have taken three steps. He has different ways of doing things, and we have to be trained and disciplined into His ways...Getting into the stride of God means nothing less than union with Himself. It takes a long time to get there, but keep at it. Don't give in because the pain is bad just now, get on with it, and before long you will find you have a new vision and a new purpose." (Oswald Chambers from My Utmost for His Highest)
Even in the midst of everyday life, there is comfort when we get into God's stride!
We are home from the surgery center and Joey is doing well. Dr. Rudisill did have to make a small incision to insert the pins, but did not have to insert a plate. He should be ready to go back to school tomorrow as long as he doesn't need pain medicine. Joey just needs to be careful with it as it heals! He goes Thursday for a check-up and to begin physical therapy. We are very thankful that things went as expected and appreciate your prayers!
After eight months of wearing my cranial prosthesis (my wig), I am now going out with my own hair! It is a little scary, but it feels nice! I'm enjoying the curls, even though they have a mind of their own!
I went Friday for my radiation follow-up with Dr. Wilcox. After talking with me about the back pain, she felt it would be a good idea to move my PET scan up to this week instead of waiting until November. So I go on Wednesday. I would appreciate your prayers specifically for my veins, that they would hold up for the IVs. It took 3 tries to find a good one for my last Herceptin and I almost passed out while they were trying! I also have to drink this sweet, thick liquid that makes me very sick. Last time I couldn't even drink half of it! They say the scan works best if I can drink it all, so I'm already praying that I can! I may have the results by Friday.
Thanks for your prayers!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Back to CSS
Journal Entry-October 8, 2009
It's back to the Center for Special Surgery on Monday for Joey! He needs pins and possibly a plate to repair the damage to his finger. It was officially diagnosed as an "angulated fracture of the 5th finger". We have to be there by 8:00 and surgery will begin around 9:30. We appreciate your prayers for him and for Dr. Rudisill as he operates. There is a chance that the tendon at the first finger joint may freeze up while the finger is immobile, so we are praying that it will be minimal and no function will be lost. Joey is also praying that he will still be able to try out for basketball at school. He has been really focusing on improving his basketball skills for over 6 months in anticipation of trying out. Thanks for praying with us!
Dr. Go said that the Tamoxifen may be causing my aches and back pain, so I'm going off of it for 3 weeks and we'll see if that helps.
Countdown to Hair Day...4 days!!
It's back to the Center for Special Surgery on Monday for Joey! He needs pins and possibly a plate to repair the damage to his finger. It was officially diagnosed as an "angulated fracture of the 5th finger". We have to be there by 8:00 and surgery will begin around 9:30. We appreciate your prayers for him and for Dr. Rudisill as he operates. There is a chance that the tendon at the first finger joint may freeze up while the finger is immobile, so we are praying that it will be minimal and no function will be lost. Joey is also praying that he will still be able to try out for basketball at school. He has been really focusing on improving his basketball skills for over 6 months in anticipation of trying out. Thanks for praying with us!
Dr. Go said that the Tamoxifen may be causing my aches and back pain, so I'm going off of it for 3 weeks and we'll see if that helps.
Countdown to Hair Day...4 days!!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Birthday and Anniversary
Journal Entry-October 4, 2009
We've had a birthday and anniversary in our family this week! We celebrated Joe's birthday on Thursday! It is also Joey's one year anniversary of his hand surgery for a torn flexor tendon. He celebrated on Thursday by breaking his finger playing basketball at church! If he'd asked me I would've come up with a better way to celebrate! It was extremely dislocated at first until a friend of ours stepped Joe through the process of trying to pop it back into place. It did help and give some pain relief, but x-rays revealed Friday that there is a definite break. When the pediatrician began to do a referral to a hand doctor we requested Dr. Rudisell, Joey's surgeon from last year. The doctor said that it would be impossible to get in with him! But we know nothing is impossible with God!! They got Dr. Rudisell on the phone and even let Joe talk to him about Joey's finger. He gave us an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. After he reviews the x-rays and looks at the finger, he'll know if surgery is needed. I have a Herceptin treatment Tuesday afternoon, so I won't be able to be there with Joe and Joey. I'll give an update when we've heard something! I'd appreciate your prayers for Joey and for me as I have had severe "flu-like" aches in my back. I'm not sure if it is just a viral infection or side-effects from medications. I plan to talk to Dr. Gococo on Tuesday.
We've had a birthday and anniversary in our family this week! We celebrated Joe's birthday on Thursday! It is also Joey's one year anniversary of his hand surgery for a torn flexor tendon. He celebrated on Thursday by breaking his finger playing basketball at church! If he'd asked me I would've come up with a better way to celebrate! It was extremely dislocated at first until a friend of ours stepped Joe through the process of trying to pop it back into place. It did help and give some pain relief, but x-rays revealed Friday that there is a definite break. When the pediatrician began to do a referral to a hand doctor we requested Dr. Rudisell, Joey's surgeon from last year. The doctor said that it would be impossible to get in with him! But we know nothing is impossible with God!! They got Dr. Rudisell on the phone and even let Joe talk to him about Joey's finger. He gave us an appointment for Tuesday afternoon. After he reviews the x-rays and looks at the finger, he'll know if surgery is needed. I have a Herceptin treatment Tuesday afternoon, so I won't be able to be there with Joe and Joey. I'll give an update when we've heard something! I'd appreciate your prayers for Joey and for me as I have had severe "flu-like" aches in my back. I'm not sure if it is just a viral infection or side-effects from medications. I plan to talk to Dr. Gococo on Tuesday.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Under the Weather
Journal Entry-September 20, 2009
Rain, rain, and more rain! We really need it, but those inside recess days are tough! We need to be able to breathe some fresh air and try to avoid the inevitable germs of the season! Nevertheless, cold and flu season has begun-at school and home. Joey has had a cold, four of my students have been out with colds, and Joe woke up feeling "under the weather", too! My counts were low from radiation and I had a flu shot Tuesday, but whatever the combination of reasons, I have been sick with a cold since mid-week! I've been blessed to be well throughout my treatments, so I shouldn't complain now. I'm thankful for a short week at school for the kids-NO HOMEWORK!!!! I have to work so we can't go anywhere, but the break from routine is welcomed. Joe and Joey are going to the men's retreat at the Wilds, so Anna and I will enjoy some time together.
I wanted to give an update about the swollen lymph node. Dr. Wilcox and Dr. Go agree that the area of concern is significantly smaller, probably due to a combination of the antibiotic and the end of radiation treatments. So...only two Herceptin infusions and a routine radiation follow-up appointment in October! Then a PET scan November 2 with follow-up with Dr. Go on November 17.
As the first day of Fall approaches, I look back and realize that I've seen all four seasons throughout my cancer treatment. It hardly seems real; almost like the world and everyone else kept on moving and I just stood still. But one thing I know was constant:
"Bless the LORD, O my soul! O LORD my God, you are very great! You are clothed with splendor and majesty, covering yourself with light as with a garment, stretching out the heavens like a tent...He made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows its time for setting...O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all...These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. When you hide your face, they are dismayed; when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust. When you send forth your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground. May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD rejoice in his works."
Psalm 104:1-2, 19, 24, 27, 29-31
Rain, rain, and more rain! We really need it, but those inside recess days are tough! We need to be able to breathe some fresh air and try to avoid the inevitable germs of the season! Nevertheless, cold and flu season has begun-at school and home. Joey has had a cold, four of my students have been out with colds, and Joe woke up feeling "under the weather", too! My counts were low from radiation and I had a flu shot Tuesday, but whatever the combination of reasons, I have been sick with a cold since mid-week! I've been blessed to be well throughout my treatments, so I shouldn't complain now. I'm thankful for a short week at school for the kids-NO HOMEWORK!!!! I have to work so we can't go anywhere, but the break from routine is welcomed. Joe and Joey are going to the men's retreat at the Wilds, so Anna and I will enjoy some time together.
I wanted to give an update about the swollen lymph node. Dr. Wilcox and Dr. Go agree that the area of concern is significantly smaller, probably due to a combination of the antibiotic and the end of radiation treatments. So...only two Herceptin infusions and a routine radiation follow-up appointment in October! Then a PET scan November 2 with follow-up with Dr. Go on November 17.
As the first day of Fall approaches, I look back and realize that I've seen all four seasons throughout my cancer treatment. It hardly seems real; almost like the world and everyone else kept on moving and I just stood still. But one thing I know was constant:
"Bless the LORD, O my soul! O LORD my God, you are very great! You are clothed with splendor and majesty, covering yourself with light as with a garment, stretching out the heavens like a tent...He made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows its time for setting...O LORD, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all...These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. When you hide your face, they are dismayed; when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust. When you send forth your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground. May the glory of the LORD endure forever; may the LORD rejoice in his works."
Psalm 104:1-2, 19, 24, 27, 29-31
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Bachelor of Perseverance
Journal Entry-September 12, 2009
"We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3b-5
"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1b-2a
"You know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:3-4
I graduated from radiation on Thursday and received my "Bachelor of Perseverance" certificate signed by all the crew at Radiation Oncology! It has been 223 days from my first chemotherapy to my last radiation! I would jump up and down to celebrate, but I'm too exhausted! I'm hoping the fatigue will slowly wear away and I'll have more energy for life! It never slows down!
So many have said, "Now you're finished!" With this phase-yes! I guess the active treatment of my cancer is over and the preventative treatment has begun. I will take Tamoxifen once daily for five years as a hormone blocker since my cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive. I will continue my Herceptin infusions every three weeks for a year. So it's a new phase, but the same faithful God and the same faithful prayers from so many! I am truly blessed!
"We know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3b-5
"Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." Hebrews 12:1b-2a
"You know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:3-4
I graduated from radiation on Thursday and received my "Bachelor of Perseverance" certificate signed by all the crew at Radiation Oncology! It has been 223 days from my first chemotherapy to my last radiation! I would jump up and down to celebrate, but I'm too exhausted! I'm hoping the fatigue will slowly wear away and I'll have more energy for life! It never slows down!
So many have said, "Now you're finished!" With this phase-yes! I guess the active treatment of my cancer is over and the preventative treatment has begun. I will take Tamoxifen once daily for five years as a hormone blocker since my cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive. I will continue my Herceptin infusions every three weeks for a year. So it's a new phase, but the same faithful God and the same faithful prayers from so many! I am truly blessed!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
"The Lord is my Shepherd"
Journal Entry-September 6, 2009
"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23
I haven't read this Psalm in awhile, but it was brought back to my mind yesterday at the funeral for my Great Uncle Mont. It was one of his favorite passages of scripture. Rev. Shirley mentioned that this Psalm falls between Psalm 22 which speaks of the Cross and Psalm 24 which speaks of the King of Glory. In between them in Psalm 23 are the green pastures and a dwelling place with the Lord forever. Uncle Mont is dwelling in the house prepared for him now and no longer suffering from cancer! He and I both had our chemotherapy treatments at the same location. A couple of times we were there on the same day, but more often I missed seeing him by a day or so. The last time I spoke with him at length was the snow day we had in the spring when I went by for a visit. We talked about the chemo. and its effects on us. We talked about the Lord's grace and I prayed with him. I always remember him as the uncle who called me boy names and pretended to not realize I was a girl! I will always see him in his overalls and boots, walking around the farm and letting me help him gather the eggs from the hen house. Please pray for my aunt Louise, my grandmother, Janie and her other brothers and sisters in this great loss.
I have 3 more radiation treatments this week. I will "graduate" on Thursday! It should take about 6-8 weeks for the skin to heal and for my energy to return. I always felt like my cancer treatments were coming in order from the toughest to the easiest, and I still do. Chemo being first, surgery second, and radiation third. But none of them are a walk in the park. The level of exhaustion is incredible. I'm constantly fighting drowsiness and trying to keep up with work, homework, and housework. I went to Dr. Rippon this week for her to check the lymph node that is swollen. She said I should probably have an ultrasound in a few weeks if it is still hurting. I will talk about it with Dr. Gococo next Tuesday when I go for my Herceptin treatment. Thanks so much for your prayers, cards, and the meals that have been such an encouragement to us.
"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23
I haven't read this Psalm in awhile, but it was brought back to my mind yesterday at the funeral for my Great Uncle Mont. It was one of his favorite passages of scripture. Rev. Shirley mentioned that this Psalm falls between Psalm 22 which speaks of the Cross and Psalm 24 which speaks of the King of Glory. In between them in Psalm 23 are the green pastures and a dwelling place with the Lord forever. Uncle Mont is dwelling in the house prepared for him now and no longer suffering from cancer! He and I both had our chemotherapy treatments at the same location. A couple of times we were there on the same day, but more often I missed seeing him by a day or so. The last time I spoke with him at length was the snow day we had in the spring when I went by for a visit. We talked about the chemo. and its effects on us. We talked about the Lord's grace and I prayed with him. I always remember him as the uncle who called me boy names and pretended to not realize I was a girl! I will always see him in his overalls and boots, walking around the farm and letting me help him gather the eggs from the hen house. Please pray for my aunt Louise, my grandmother, Janie and her other brothers and sisters in this great loss.
I have 3 more radiation treatments this week. I will "graduate" on Thursday! It should take about 6-8 weeks for the skin to heal and for my energy to return. I always felt like my cancer treatments were coming in order from the toughest to the easiest, and I still do. Chemo being first, surgery second, and radiation third. But none of them are a walk in the park. The level of exhaustion is incredible. I'm constantly fighting drowsiness and trying to keep up with work, homework, and housework. I went to Dr. Rippon this week for her to check the lymph node that is swollen. She said I should probably have an ultrasound in a few weeks if it is still hurting. I will talk about it with Dr. Gococo next Tuesday when I go for my Herceptin treatment. Thanks so much for your prayers, cards, and the meals that have been such an encouragement to us.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
"Red and Yellow, Black and White"
Journal Entry-August 25, 2009
It never ceases to amaze me the assortment of people I see at my cancer treatments. I've seen the young, the old, and the in-between; white, black, Asian, and Hispanic; boy, girl, woman, and man. Cancer is no respecter of persons. But I know someone else who isn't either! "Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight; Jesus loves the little children of the world."
I am back in the chemo room for my 3rd Herceptin treatment. The smell is especially strong today, but I am using my Vick's Vapor Rub and keeping busy playing "catch up" on school and home stuff. I have 11 more radiation treatments. Yesterday I spoke with Dr. Wilcox about a sore spot under my arm. She thinks it might be an inflamed lymph node, so she put me on an antibiotic. Dr. Go agreed with her and will see me back for a re-check in three weeks. My red and white counts were a little low, probably due to radiation. I feel so washed out and sleepy, but that is to be expected as I enter the "home stretch" of my radiation. Thanks so much for your prayers as I take a deep breath and press on!!
It never ceases to amaze me the assortment of people I see at my cancer treatments. I've seen the young, the old, and the in-between; white, black, Asian, and Hispanic; boy, girl, woman, and man. Cancer is no respecter of persons. But I know someone else who isn't either! "Red and yellow, black and white, all are precious in His sight; Jesus loves the little children of the world."
I am back in the chemo room for my 3rd Herceptin treatment. The smell is especially strong today, but I am using my Vick's Vapor Rub and keeping busy playing "catch up" on school and home stuff. I have 11 more radiation treatments. Yesterday I spoke with Dr. Wilcox about a sore spot under my arm. She thinks it might be an inflamed lymph node, so she put me on an antibiotic. Dr. Go agreed with her and will see me back for a re-check in three weeks. My red and white counts were a little low, probably due to radiation. I feel so washed out and sleepy, but that is to be expected as I enter the "home stretch" of my radiation. Thanks so much for your prayers as I take a deep breath and press on!!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
"All Things New"
Journal Entry-August 23, 2009
"Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:5
Well, the "new" year is off and running, and so am I! I guess I'm just like a child at the start of a new year. I love helping Anna and Joey pack up all their new school supplies and get everything organized for a new year. I love getting everything set up in my classroom for my new class, even though it is hard and exhausting work. My life is full of new beginnings! Twenty new four-year-old's learning a new routine. Joey's first year of high school. Anna loosing her last baby tooth! I have a wonderful new assistant that is replacing my previous friend and co-worker of 5 years! I will miss you Sandy, but wish you the best in Detroit! Mrs. Barrineau, my new assistant is an old pro with young children, so she'll be a great asset in our classroom this year. I have had to stop my oncology rehab. class due to work, but am trying to continue with my exercise program on my own. I have added weight and strength training to my daily physical therapy routine. The radiation is beginning to damage the deeper tissues in my arm and chest, so I have to continue to stretch and strengthen them to prevent scar tissue. I have 13 more radiation treatments and will finish on Sept. 9, if nothing happens to the machine again! I am beginning to have some skin irritation, but mostly fatigue. I will have my 3rd Herceptin infusion on Tuesday of this week and hope to get some lab results and dates for scans set up with Dr. Go. I am thankful for all of those who have provided meals for my family during my radiation. They have been so helpful to me as I struggle with the daily rush of a new school year. Thanks to all who have kept me lifted up in daily prayer! I know I would not be strong enough for work and treatments without them. Finally, thanks to the Lord who makes "all things new".
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
"Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:5
Well, the "new" year is off and running, and so am I! I guess I'm just like a child at the start of a new year. I love helping Anna and Joey pack up all their new school supplies and get everything organized for a new year. I love getting everything set up in my classroom for my new class, even though it is hard and exhausting work. My life is full of new beginnings! Twenty new four-year-old's learning a new routine. Joey's first year of high school. Anna loosing her last baby tooth! I have a wonderful new assistant that is replacing my previous friend and co-worker of 5 years! I will miss you Sandy, but wish you the best in Detroit! Mrs. Barrineau, my new assistant is an old pro with young children, so she'll be a great asset in our classroom this year. I have had to stop my oncology rehab. class due to work, but am trying to continue with my exercise program on my own. I have added weight and strength training to my daily physical therapy routine. The radiation is beginning to damage the deeper tissues in my arm and chest, so I have to continue to stretch and strengthen them to prevent scar tissue. I have 13 more radiation treatments and will finish on Sept. 9, if nothing happens to the machine again! I am beginning to have some skin irritation, but mostly fatigue. I will have my 3rd Herceptin infusion on Tuesday of this week and hope to get some lab results and dates for scans set up with Dr. Go. I am thankful for all of those who have provided meals for my family during my radiation. They have been so helpful to me as I struggle with the daily rush of a new school year. Thanks to all who have kept me lifted up in daily prayer! I know I would not be strong enough for work and treatments without them. Finally, thanks to the Lord who makes "all things new".
"It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Comments
Journal Entry-Aug. 6, 2009
Many of you have mentioned that you were unable to post comments on my blog without creating a Google account. I think I have fixed the problem!! So feel free to try again! All you need to do is select the "Comment" button under my blog entries. Then choose "Name" in the "Comment As" drop down menu. Then type your comment and post!
The comments I have received have been very encouraging to me! I hope this helps!
Many of you have mentioned that you were unable to post comments on my blog without creating a Google account. I think I have fixed the problem!! So feel free to try again! All you need to do is select the "Comment" button under my blog entries. Then choose "Name" in the "Comment As" drop down menu. Then type your comment and post!
The comments I have received have been very encouraging to me! I hope this helps!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
A Week of "Firsts"!
Journal Entry-August 4, 2009
It has been a week of "firsts" for me, starting with my first entry of August!
I was able to walk up the hill at church without getting out of breath.
I wore mascara on my new short eyelashes for the first time this week!
Today is the first time I’ve gone by myself to the Cancer Center. I am receiving my infusion of Herceptin.
I actually used shampoo to wash my hair for the first time since February! I thought it would encourage my hair to grow if it knew that I now recognized it as being enough to shampoo!!!
And yesterday I was able to get groceries by myself and load them into the car.
It was been quite a busy but exciting week! I can really tell a difference in my strength and energy level since I've started the oncology rehab. program. It has given me a boost, just in time for a new school year!
"God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength...If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute."
Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
It has been a week of "firsts" for me, starting with my first entry of August!
I was able to walk up the hill at church without getting out of breath.
I wore mascara on my new short eyelashes for the first time this week!
Today is the first time I’ve gone by myself to the Cancer Center. I am receiving my infusion of Herceptin.
I actually used shampoo to wash my hair for the first time since February! I thought it would encourage my hair to grow if it knew that I now recognized it as being enough to shampoo!!!
And yesterday I was able to get groceries by myself and load them into the car.
It was been quite a busy but exciting week! I can really tell a difference in my strength and energy level since I've started the oncology rehab. program. It has given me a boost, just in time for a new school year!
"God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength...If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute."
Taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
Thursday, July 23, 2009
"What Joy, What Peace!"
Journal Entry-July 23, 2009
"Come lay your heavy load down at the Master's feet; Your shame will be removed, your joy will be complete. Come crucify your pride, and enter as a child; for those who bow down low He'll lift up to His side. What joy, what peace has come to us! What hope, what help, what love!"
Taken from "When Love Came Down" by Stuart Townsend (from Christ Only, Always by the Galkin Evangelistic Team
How difficult it is for me to "crucify" my pride and to "enter as a child"! But when we do...what joy, what peace, what hope, what help, and what love! I began this week being reminded by this song of all that's available to us through Christ, especially when all else seems to be falling apart! The doctor's office called early Monday morning to tell me I needed to come in and be marked again for radiation on a different board. This also meant the delay of my radiation for one more day. I was flying around trying to get out the door, get the kids to my mom, and get by BJ to get a few of Joey's textbooks for school that were on sale. And at the same time trying to focus on God's grace in times of craziness! I sat down to check my email while I waited at the Cancer Center and decide I would look online and see if I won the birthday prize on WMUU. I did!! Joe and I will enjoy the dinner and dessert out at Chick-fil-a! It was a blessing in the midst of a busy birthday!
I had my first physical therapy session on Monday. I have some swelling in my arm, so I'm being fitted next week for a compression sleeve. I will wear it while exercising or when I see it start to swell from overuse. My range of motion in my left arm was really below normal. I continue to have quite a bit of pain when I use it. I also have "cording" of the lymph vessels since they are no longer carrying fluid to my arm. She gave me a packet of range of motion exercises to do twice every day. They take about 30 minutes and I am very sore after I finish, but I can tell it is improving my range of motion. I'll have to keep them up at this level for several weeks, but as time passes I'll be able to lessen the frequency. She told me that scar tissue and cording can occur up to one year after surgery, so I have to keep them up to ensure I don't lose any use of my arm. When I went back three days later for a follow-up, she was very impressed at the gains in the range of motion of my arm!!
I am starting a cardio and strength training program next week on Mon., Tues., and Thurs., at the Life Center. I am looking forward to building up my strength over the next few weeks that I have left of my summer break. My fatigue level is very high and I need a "boost" before the new school year starts.
I have had three radiation treatments so far. The actual time of radiation on each of the three spots is between 20 and 30 seconds. I have had no side effects so far. I am having side effects of the Herceptin treatment I had two weeks ago. I am very fatigued and I am having some heartburn and stomach pains. This is discouraging because I haven't had any heartburn since chemotherapy ended. I'm also having very blurry vision. It feels like I'm walking around without my glasses on. If you wear glasses you can imagine how frustrating this is! I'm also getting headaches, either from the blurry vision or from the Herceptin. I'd appreciate your prayers concerning these side effects. I really need to be able to continue this treatment, so I'm praying the side effects will become tolerable.
On the subject of hair...I now have some!! At first it looked almost black, but now it's a dark brown color. It is hard to tell the color or if it's curly right now, but I'm enjoying it! It is growing in very quickly and is soft as baby hair. It startles me when I look in the mirror! The down side: I've had to start shaving my legs again! Oh well...it's worth it!
"Come lay your heavy load down at the Master's feet; Your shame will be removed, your joy will be complete. Come crucify your pride, and enter as a child; for those who bow down low He'll lift up to His side. What joy, what peace has come to us! What hope, what help, what love!"
Taken from "When Love Came Down" by Stuart Townsend (from Christ Only, Always by the Galkin Evangelistic Team
How difficult it is for me to "crucify" my pride and to "enter as a child"! But when we do...what joy, what peace, what hope, what help, and what love! I began this week being reminded by this song of all that's available to us through Christ, especially when all else seems to be falling apart! The doctor's office called early Monday morning to tell me I needed to come in and be marked again for radiation on a different board. This also meant the delay of my radiation for one more day. I was flying around trying to get out the door, get the kids to my mom, and get by BJ to get a few of Joey's textbooks for school that were on sale. And at the same time trying to focus on God's grace in times of craziness! I sat down to check my email while I waited at the Cancer Center and decide I would look online and see if I won the birthday prize on WMUU. I did!! Joe and I will enjoy the dinner and dessert out at Chick-fil-a! It was a blessing in the midst of a busy birthday!
I had my first physical therapy session on Monday. I have some swelling in my arm, so I'm being fitted next week for a compression sleeve. I will wear it while exercising or when I see it start to swell from overuse. My range of motion in my left arm was really below normal. I continue to have quite a bit of pain when I use it. I also have "cording" of the lymph vessels since they are no longer carrying fluid to my arm. She gave me a packet of range of motion exercises to do twice every day. They take about 30 minutes and I am very sore after I finish, but I can tell it is improving my range of motion. I'll have to keep them up at this level for several weeks, but as time passes I'll be able to lessen the frequency. She told me that scar tissue and cording can occur up to one year after surgery, so I have to keep them up to ensure I don't lose any use of my arm. When I went back three days later for a follow-up, she was very impressed at the gains in the range of motion of my arm!!
I am starting a cardio and strength training program next week on Mon., Tues., and Thurs., at the Life Center. I am looking forward to building up my strength over the next few weeks that I have left of my summer break. My fatigue level is very high and I need a "boost" before the new school year starts.
I have had three radiation treatments so far. The actual time of radiation on each of the three spots is between 20 and 30 seconds. I have had no side effects so far. I am having side effects of the Herceptin treatment I had two weeks ago. I am very fatigued and I am having some heartburn and stomach pains. This is discouraging because I haven't had any heartburn since chemotherapy ended. I'm also having very blurry vision. It feels like I'm walking around without my glasses on. If you wear glasses you can imagine how frustrating this is! I'm also getting headaches, either from the blurry vision or from the Herceptin. I'd appreciate your prayers concerning these side effects. I really need to be able to continue this treatment, so I'm praying the side effects will become tolerable.
On the subject of hair...I now have some!! At first it looked almost black, but now it's a dark brown color. It is hard to tell the color or if it's curly right now, but I'm enjoying it! It is growing in very quickly and is soft as baby hair. It startles me when I look in the mirror! The down side: I've had to start shaving my legs again! Oh well...it's worth it!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
"All in All"
"I hear the Savior say, "Thy strength indeed in small, child of weakness watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all." Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe; sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow."
I'm feeling lately that my strength (spiritually and physically) is small indeed! Praise the Lord that we can find our "all in all" in Christ's complete work on the Cross.
We are back from a vacation to Dreher Island on Lake Murray. We stayed in the Villas at the State Park. It was quiet and our view of the lake was beautiful and relaxing. We were able to go out on the lake with my parents for a few days. Joey got his first lesson on driving the pontoon boat! He did a great job! We also got to spend a day on the lake with a dear friend and her family that live in Prosperity. Our kids are very close in age and they had a wonderful time together swimming, tubing, and knee boarding! It was a perfect break from all the activity of normal life!
I had three doctor's appointments this week. I was able to discuss pathology reports from surgery with my oncologist, Dr. Gococo. He was pleased that the tumor was basically non-existent and that the lymph node dissection had removed the nodes with cancer. My cancer was hormone receptor and Her2 positive. This basically means that the estrogen, progesterone, and Her2 cells in my body were all feeding the cancer and making it larger. So now I will have two preventative treatments that will block these hormones from feeding any remaining cancer cells. One will be the drug, Tamoxifen, daily for 5 years. The other is Herceptin, a drug administered every three weeks through an IV for one year. It should take about 1 and a half hours to administer and should have little lasting side-effects. I begin on Tuesday, July 14. We met with the radiation oncologist and I am ready to begin. They had some trouble with scheduling, so for right now I'm set to start on July 20 (my birthday!) instead on July 13th.
I do have a big praise concerning radiation. We were looking at the possibility of having to go to Spartanburg or Anderson for my radiation because of insurance complications. We prayed for the Lord to intervene so that I could keep the doctor I already had and be able to receive treatment in Greenville at no additional cost. When we got back from vacation we found out that they had worked out the problems and I could stay with my doctor here in Greenville with no additional costs! Praise the Lord!
I am continuing to do my strengthening exercises and have started walking several times a week, as well. Dr. Go and Dr. Rippon feel that it is just going to take awhile to build my strength back up from chemotherapy and surgery. My left arm is weak and the pain is making me favor it and use my right arm more. I have occasional tendonitis in my right arm and it is starting to hurt from the over use! So I have to get my left arm stronger or I'm going to have both arms hurting! I have been referred for physical therapy and an oncological rehabilitation program. I am waiting to hear if insurance will pay for these opportunities.
As I transition from surgery to radiation I've been reflecting on the outcome of the treatments so far. I don't think the chemotherapy or the surgery could have been any more successful than they were. So after radiation they will monitor my progress with blood work and scans along with just trying to be aware of any unusual symptoms I might have that would cause concern. I find myself wanting there to be a simple test that will tell immediately "Yes,you have more cancer" or "No, you're cancer free!". Unfortunately there is no such test! Joe reminded me that this is just where you have to keep trusting the Lord and believing that He will lead you and care for you like He always has.
Deuteronomy 1:30-33
"The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place. Yet in spite of this word you did not believe the Lord your God, who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go."
Truly the Lord has fought for me and I have seen it right before my eyes. In my wilderness I have felt the Lord carry me all the way to this place I am today. I will believe the Lord, my God, who seeks out a place for me and shows me the way I should go.
I'm feeling lately that my strength (spiritually and physically) is small indeed! Praise the Lord that we can find our "all in all" in Christ's complete work on the Cross.
We are back from a vacation to Dreher Island on Lake Murray. We stayed in the Villas at the State Park. It was quiet and our view of the lake was beautiful and relaxing. We were able to go out on the lake with my parents for a few days. Joey got his first lesson on driving the pontoon boat! He did a great job! We also got to spend a day on the lake with a dear friend and her family that live in Prosperity. Our kids are very close in age and they had a wonderful time together swimming, tubing, and knee boarding! It was a perfect break from all the activity of normal life!
I had three doctor's appointments this week. I was able to discuss pathology reports from surgery with my oncologist, Dr. Gococo. He was pleased that the tumor was basically non-existent and that the lymph node dissection had removed the nodes with cancer. My cancer was hormone receptor and Her2 positive. This basically means that the estrogen, progesterone, and Her2 cells in my body were all feeding the cancer and making it larger. So now I will have two preventative treatments that will block these hormones from feeding any remaining cancer cells. One will be the drug, Tamoxifen, daily for 5 years. The other is Herceptin, a drug administered every three weeks through an IV for one year. It should take about 1 and a half hours to administer and should have little lasting side-effects. I begin on Tuesday, July 14. We met with the radiation oncologist and I am ready to begin. They had some trouble with scheduling, so for right now I'm set to start on July 20 (my birthday!) instead on July 13th.
I do have a big praise concerning radiation. We were looking at the possibility of having to go to Spartanburg or Anderson for my radiation because of insurance complications. We prayed for the Lord to intervene so that I could keep the doctor I already had and be able to receive treatment in Greenville at no additional cost. When we got back from vacation we found out that they had worked out the problems and I could stay with my doctor here in Greenville with no additional costs! Praise the Lord!
I am continuing to do my strengthening exercises and have started walking several times a week, as well. Dr. Go and Dr. Rippon feel that it is just going to take awhile to build my strength back up from chemotherapy and surgery. My left arm is weak and the pain is making me favor it and use my right arm more. I have occasional tendonitis in my right arm and it is starting to hurt from the over use! So I have to get my left arm stronger or I'm going to have both arms hurting! I have been referred for physical therapy and an oncological rehabilitation program. I am waiting to hear if insurance will pay for these opportunities.
As I transition from surgery to radiation I've been reflecting on the outcome of the treatments so far. I don't think the chemotherapy or the surgery could have been any more successful than they were. So after radiation they will monitor my progress with blood work and scans along with just trying to be aware of any unusual symptoms I might have that would cause concern. I find myself wanting there to be a simple test that will tell immediately "Yes,you have more cancer" or "No, you're cancer free!". Unfortunately there is no such test! Joe reminded me that this is just where you have to keep trusting the Lord and believing that He will lead you and care for you like He always has.
Deuteronomy 1:30-33
"The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place. Yet in spite of this word you did not believe the Lord your God, who went before you in the way to seek you out a place to pitch your tents, in fire by night and in the cloud by day, to show you by what way you should go."
Truly the Lord has fought for me and I have seen it right before my eyes. In my wilderness I have felt the Lord carry me all the way to this place I am today. I will believe the Lord, my God, who seeks out a place for me and shows me the way I should go.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Fires of Sorrow
Journal Entry-June 25, 2009
"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed...Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good."
1 Peter 4:12-12, 19
"My attitude as a saint to sorrow and difficulty is not to ask that they may be prevented, but to ask that I may preserve the self God created me to be through every fire of sorrow...We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to receive ourselves in its fires. Sin and sorrow and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them. Sorrow burns up a great amount of shallowness, but it does not always make a man better. Suffering either gives me my self or it destroys my self. You cannot receive your self in success, you lose your head; you cannot receive your self in monotony, you grouse. The way to find your self is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be so is another matter, but that it is so is true in the Scriptures and human experience...If you receive your self in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."
Excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
God has turned my attention to suffering the past two days. It is so easy to wallow in self pity when you are suffering. This passage and excerpt have drawn me back to the purpose for it all. I want to come through these fires of sorrow knowing my Lord better and being nourishment for others. I hope if you are facing any fires of sorrow this week that these words will be nourishment to you as they have been to me.
I have begun some daily strengthening exercises that I will do for the next 6 weeks to build myself back up from the effects of surgery and chemotherapy. As many of you know, physical therapy after surgery or an injury is necessary, but painful. I appreciate your prayers as I labor to be consistent with these exercises over the next few weeks.
We are planning a much needed vacation next week! Please pray with us for rest, relaxation, and safety for us all. I also ask for prayer as we "suffer" through the mental strain of dealing with insurance companies and doctor's offices. We need wisdom as we weigh our treatment options for radiation.
The final lab reports for both surgeries showed that 3 out of the 12 lymph nodes they removed had cancer in them. They are out now, and I move forward to radiation soon. I go back to the doctors on July 9.
Thanks so much for the encouraging cards, phone calls, and prayers! Have a blessed Independence Day with your families!
"Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed...Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good."
1 Peter 4:12-12, 19
"My attitude as a saint to sorrow and difficulty is not to ask that they may be prevented, but to ask that I may preserve the self God created me to be through every fire of sorrow...We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to receive ourselves in its fires. Sin and sorrow and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them. Sorrow burns up a great amount of shallowness, but it does not always make a man better. Suffering either gives me my self or it destroys my self. You cannot receive your self in success, you lose your head; you cannot receive your self in monotony, you grouse. The way to find your self is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be so is another matter, but that it is so is true in the Scriptures and human experience...If you receive your self in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."
Excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers
God has turned my attention to suffering the past two days. It is so easy to wallow in self pity when you are suffering. This passage and excerpt have drawn me back to the purpose for it all. I want to come through these fires of sorrow knowing my Lord better and being nourishment for others. I hope if you are facing any fires of sorrow this week that these words will be nourishment to you as they have been to me.
I have begun some daily strengthening exercises that I will do for the next 6 weeks to build myself back up from the effects of surgery and chemotherapy. As many of you know, physical therapy after surgery or an injury is necessary, but painful. I appreciate your prayers as I labor to be consistent with these exercises over the next few weeks.
We are planning a much needed vacation next week! Please pray with us for rest, relaxation, and safety for us all. I also ask for prayer as we "suffer" through the mental strain of dealing with insurance companies and doctor's offices. We need wisdom as we weigh our treatment options for radiation.
The final lab reports for both surgeries showed that 3 out of the 12 lymph nodes they removed had cancer in them. They are out now, and I move forward to radiation soon. I go back to the doctors on July 9.
Thanks so much for the encouraging cards, phone calls, and prayers! Have a blessed Independence Day with your families!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Home...Again!
Journal Entry-June 17, 2009
I'm thankful that I was able to come home yesterday afternoon and I'm resting and recovering. The surgery went well and the tissue samples will be sent off to be read this week for any signs of further cancer. Even if there are more cancer cells, I will not have any more surgery or chemotherapy. From what I understand, they may just need to adjust my radiation length or location. Thanks so much for all the prayers! A friend of mine sent this quote to me and I wanted to share it with you.
"God is Cheering for You" by Max Lucado
If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?
God is for you. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.
God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that’s God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that’s God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He’ll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He’s picking you up. God is for you.
God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there’s a tree in heaven, he’s carved your name in the bark. We know he has a tattoo, and we know what it says. “I have written your name on my hand,” he declares (Isa. 49:16).
From Let the Journey Begin:God’s Roadmap for New Beginnings©
(J Countryman 2009) Max Lucado
I'm thankful that I was able to come home yesterday afternoon and I'm resting and recovering. The surgery went well and the tissue samples will be sent off to be read this week for any signs of further cancer. Even if there are more cancer cells, I will not have any more surgery or chemotherapy. From what I understand, they may just need to adjust my radiation length or location. Thanks so much for all the prayers! A friend of mine sent this quote to me and I wanted to share it with you.
"God is Cheering for You" by Max Lucado
If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?
God is for you. Not “may be,” not “has been,” not “was,” not “would be,” but “God is!” He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second. His loyalty won’t increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.
God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that’s God cheering your run. Look past the finish line; that’s God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He’ll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He’s picking you up. God is for you.
God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there’s a tree in heaven, he’s carved your name in the bark. We know he has a tattoo, and we know what it says. “I have written your name on my hand,” he declares (Isa. 49:16).
From Let the Journey Begin:God’s Roadmap for New Beginnings©
(J Countryman 2009) Max Lucado
Monday, June 15, 2009
Update on Lab Reports
Journal Entry-June 15, 2009
My final pathology reports came back over the weekend. I had a message to call the doctor's office waiting for me on my voicemail this morning. The tissue samples from my surgery last week were sent off and examined for traces of cancer that may have been missed. Two of my lymph nodes showed signs of cancer. So I will have surgery tomorrow to remove more lymph nodes. I know, without asking, that you will keep us in your prayers as we go through "Round 2" tomorrow. None of this comes as a surprise to God even though it may to us. We are so thankful to have so many praying for us!
Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
My final pathology reports came back over the weekend. I had a message to call the doctor's office waiting for me on my voicemail this morning. The tissue samples from my surgery last week were sent off and examined for traces of cancer that may have been missed. Two of my lymph nodes showed signs of cancer. So I will have surgery tomorrow to remove more lymph nodes. I know, without asking, that you will keep us in your prayers as we go through "Round 2" tomorrow. None of this comes as a surprise to God even though it may to us. We are so thankful to have so many praying for us!
Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
Friday, June 12, 2009
"Everlasting Arms"
Journal Entry-June 12, 2009
"The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the Everlasting Arms." Deut. 33:27
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night...For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy." Psalm 92:1-2, 4
Surgery is over and I am home! I was able to come home Wednesday afternoon. Dr. Rippon removed what was left of the tumor and feels certain she got clear margins (no cancer cells). The lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer. We will go over the final pathology report with her at my follow-up visit on Tuesday.
Thanks so much to all who have prayed with us on this matter! It was truly an answer to all of our prayers, and I know that you will join with me in praise to the Lord!
"The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the Everlasting Arms." Deut. 33:27
"It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High; to declare your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night...For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy." Psalm 92:1-2, 4
Surgery is over and I am home! I was able to come home Wednesday afternoon. Dr. Rippon removed what was left of the tumor and feels certain she got clear margins (no cancer cells). The lymph nodes showed no sign of cancer. We will go over the final pathology report with her at my follow-up visit on Tuesday.
Thanks so much to all who have prayed with us on this matter! It was truly an answer to all of our prayers, and I know that you will join with me in praise to the Lord!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Pre-Surgery Thoughts
Journal Entry-June 8, 2009
As I prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for surgery this week, I find I need to continually look to the Lord. As I read my devotions this week in My Utmost for His Highest, I knew they came on the perfect date as a Word from the Lord to me.
"For He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, the Lord is my Helper, and I will not fear..." Hebrews 13:5-6
"What line does my thought take? Does it turn to what God says or to what I fear?..."I will in no wise fail thee"-not for all my sin and selfishness and stubbornness and waywardness. Have I really let God say to me that He will never fail me? If I listened to this say-so of God's, then let me listen again...My say-so must be built on God's say-so. God says, "I will never leave thee" then I can with good courage say-"The Lord is my Helper, I will not fear". I will not be haunted by apprehension. This does not mean that I will not be tempted to fear, but I will remember God's say-so. I will be full of courage, like a child "bucking himself up" to reach the standard his father wants...The only way to get the dread taken out of us is to listen to God's say-so. What are you dreading? You are not a coward about it, you are going to face it, but there is a feeling of dread. When there is nothing and no one to help you, say-"But the Lord is my Helper, this second, in my present outlook." When we realize how feeble we are in facing difficulties, the difficulties become like giants, we become like grasshoppers, and God becomes a nonentity. Remember God's say-so-"I will in no wise fail you."
As I prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for surgery this week, I find I need to continually look to the Lord. As I read my devotions this week in My Utmost for His Highest, I knew they came on the perfect date as a Word from the Lord to me.
"For He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, the Lord is my Helper, and I will not fear..." Hebrews 13:5-6
"What line does my thought take? Does it turn to what God says or to what I fear?..."I will in no wise fail thee"-not for all my sin and selfishness and stubbornness and waywardness. Have I really let God say to me that He will never fail me? If I listened to this say-so of God's, then let me listen again...My say-so must be built on God's say-so. God says, "I will never leave thee" then I can with good courage say-"The Lord is my Helper, I will not fear". I will not be haunted by apprehension. This does not mean that I will not be tempted to fear, but I will remember God's say-so. I will be full of courage, like a child "bucking himself up" to reach the standard his father wants...The only way to get the dread taken out of us is to listen to God's say-so. What are you dreading? You are not a coward about it, you are going to face it, but there is a feeling of dread. When there is nothing and no one to help you, say-"But the Lord is my Helper, this second, in my present outlook." When we realize how feeble we are in facing difficulties, the difficulties become like giants, we become like grasshoppers, and God becomes a nonentity. Remember God's say-so-"I will in no wise fail you."
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Showers of Blessing!
Journal Entry-June 4, 2009
"I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26
I felt today was an appropriate day to count my "showers of blessings" up to this point in my treatment. Today marks the longest I've gone without chemotherapy since I started! Three weeks and one day! Hopefully my body will soon realize it's over and my side effects will subside. It is a day to celebrate the goodness and grace the Lord has shown me over the past five months. I'm going to literally count my blessings and "name them one by one"! As I read back over each journal entry, I made a list of all the ways the Lord had blessed and met each of our family's needs. Each answered prayer is a shared victory with everyone who has prayed for us and I want you to be able to join with me in praise to the Lord!
"I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26
I felt today was an appropriate day to count my "showers of blessings" up to this point in my treatment. Today marks the longest I've gone without chemotherapy since I started! Three weeks and one day! Hopefully my body will soon realize it's over and my side effects will subside. It is a day to celebrate the goodness and grace the Lord has shown me over the past five months. I'm going to literally count my blessings and "name them one by one"! As I read back over each journal entry, I made a list of all the ways the Lord had blessed and met each of our family's needs. Each answered prayer is a shared victory with everyone who has prayed for us and I want you to be able to join with me in praise to the Lord!
- The Lord answered our prayers for a definite plan to follow in my cancer treatment and he gave us the answer six days earlier than I asked him to!
- By showing us that chemotherapy was where I needed to start, I was able to save many of my sick days at work that surgery would have used up. We also prayed I would be able to work in between rounds of chemotherapy so I could continue to accrue more days. I was able to do just that, with 2 sick days to spare!
- The Lord supplied meal, after meal, after meal for us continually through my chemotherapy. Hot meals, frozen meals, restaurant gift cards! We are so thankful to have such a wonderful and giving church family, work family at East North Street Academy, and family members actually related to us!
- I have had a constant stream of encouraging cards and gifts from so many people, some of whom I've never met. I have kept them all and posted many of the verses from them on my blog. I know that they have been an encouragement to so many others, as well. "So shall my Word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
- I am especially thankful for the blessing of a well-made "cranial prosthesis"(wig)!
- I specifically prayed that I could get one of my medications for nausea through the mail at a significantly reduced price. The prayer was answered, but it was mailed before I could ask for priority shipping to get it here before I needed it on Friday. The lady on the phone said, "I'm sorry, but good luck!". I told her that it wouldn't be luck that would get it there, but prayer! The medicine arrived Thursday afternoon, just in time!
- We prayed for my red blood cell counts to go up after they took a dive during chemo. #4. On the advice of a friend, I began taking alfalfa tablets and liquid chlorophyll. After only 5 days, my red blood counts were up! I also never ran a fever or had to take antibiotics at any time during my chemotherapy. Even when everyone else in my family ran a fever or had the flu at some point during those months and I was bombarded with germs from my "little ones" at school!
- I am thankful for the blessing of being able to attend Fine Arts Festivals for both Joey and Anna. They fell perfectly between chemo. treatments!
- We had been praying that a denied insurance claim that we felt was incorrect would be decided in our favor. It was finally paid correctly, saving us money.
- What a blessing your prayers for me have been! As people have commented with surprise that I was still able to continue to work, I was able to give repeated testimony of the power of prayer! As you lifted me up in prayer, it encouraged me to pray for others. I started with a prayer list of less than ten people with needs related to cancer. I now have almost 30 names of friends, family members, church members, or people I have met at the Cancer Center during treatments. I have had opportunities to pray for others that I would normally have never met at all were it not for my cancer. This includes the mother of one of my students, Sofia, who died of liver cancer in April, after only knowing about it for less than a month. Pray for Sofia and her dad, Joel, as they move to Spartanburg for him to enroll in a Bible Institute to train to be a pastor. Also, pray for Kaylee, the 3 month old daughter of one of my students, who was born with liver cancer. She has already gone through chemotherapy at one month of age, but is recovering and growing stronger. Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
- Another blessing was a good report on my EKG and CT heart scan in April. I had been having shortness of breath and chest tightness, but both reports were great. My heart showed that it was even slightly stronger now than before chemotherapy!
- One of the biggest blessings was the MRI report that showed my tumor had shrunk to one-eighth its original size! As Pastor Barney said during his sermon last Sunday morning, God will never give us a stone when we ask for bread. Although sometimes it may feel like a stone, and chemotherapy certainly did at times! But it is just what God knows you need for your spiritual encouragement and growth. God always gives us the best!
- I am very blessed to have been married to Joe for twenty wonderful years this May! Along with that blessing, God has given us Joey and Anna!
- Finally, I am thankful to be one third of the way through my cancer treatments! Although I feel like I'm way over half the way done with chemotherapy behind me. I'm "pressing on" to next Wednesday and radiation to follow, where I'm confident that there will be many more "showers of blessing" to come!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Anniversary Surprise!
Journal Entry-May 25, 2009
I had a very sweet and unexpected surprise at church yesterday from Joe and the kids! They placed flowers in my honor and in celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary, which is Thursday, May 28.
God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband and family! They have been my daily, constant encouragment and I am so thankful for them.
I had a very sweet and unexpected surprise at church yesterday from Joe and the kids! They placed flowers in my honor and in celebration of our 20th wedding anniversary, which is Thursday, May 28.
God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband and family! They have been my daily, constant encouragment and I am so thankful for them.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
"Out of the Miry Bog"
Journal Entry-May 23, 2009
"He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40:2
I can think of no better way to describe the first 10 days after chemotherapy than a "miry bog". And there is nothing that lifts me out of it and sets my feet on a rock except the wonderful grace of my loving God.
Knowing this is the last time encourages me to keep pressing on even though I am daily dealing with side effects. I have a constant flu-like muscle pain from the Taxotere. It makes just lifting my legs to walk feel like I'm carrying lead weights. I'm also having some numbness and tingling in my feet and hands, especially the third toe on my right foot! I'm taking some vitamins to help with this and hopefully after my body realizes that there will not be any more of those chemicals, it will slowly return to normal.
I look forward to returning to the world of coffee drinkers, possibly tomorrow, after 10 days! I have had to have 10-12 day interruptions every three weeks to my "daily cup of coffee regiment" each time the chemo was at its worst. It is one of the "creature comforts" I look forward to on a consistent basis now that chemo is over!
"This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid...For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." Psalm 56:9b, 13
"He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." Psalm 40:2
I can think of no better way to describe the first 10 days after chemotherapy than a "miry bog". And there is nothing that lifts me out of it and sets my feet on a rock except the wonderful grace of my loving God.
Knowing this is the last time encourages me to keep pressing on even though I am daily dealing with side effects. I have a constant flu-like muscle pain from the Taxotere. It makes just lifting my legs to walk feel like I'm carrying lead weights. I'm also having some numbness and tingling in my feet and hands, especially the third toe on my right foot! I'm taking some vitamins to help with this and hopefully after my body realizes that there will not be any more of those chemicals, it will slowly return to normal.
I look forward to returning to the world of coffee drinkers, possibly tomorrow, after 10 days! I have had to have 10-12 day interruptions every three weeks to my "daily cup of coffee regiment" each time the chemo was at its worst. It is one of the "creature comforts" I look forward to on a consistent basis now that chemo is over!
"This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid...For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." Psalm 56:9b, 13
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Bell “Heard ‘round the World”!
Journal Entry-May 15, 2009
107 days…28 needle sticks…and by the grace of God,
One Survivor!
My chemotherapy is over! I’m sure I woke up some dozing patients as I rang the victory bell! Once I’m through the side-effects of this treatment, I believe the worst of my cancer treatments are over. My surgery will be June 10 and three weeks after that I will begin radiation. This victory belongs to the Lord! And through his grace and strength I share in that victory along with everyone who has prayed for me daily and extended their love to my family with meals, cards, and kind gifts. I praise God for such a wonderful family of friends!
Even though a bell isn’t specifically mentioned in this Psalm of praise, today it was an instrument of praise!
Psalm 33:1-5, 20-22
“Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright. Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre, make melody to him with the harp of ten strings! Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts. For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the steadfast love of the Lord…Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us even as we hope in you.”
107 days…28 needle sticks…and by the grace of God,
One Survivor!
My chemotherapy is over! I’m sure I woke up some dozing patients as I rang the victory bell! Once I’m through the side-effects of this treatment, I believe the worst of my cancer treatments are over. My surgery will be June 10 and three weeks after that I will begin radiation. This victory belongs to the Lord! And through his grace and strength I share in that victory along with everyone who has prayed for me daily and extended their love to my family with meals, cards, and kind gifts. I praise God for such a wonderful family of friends!
Even though a bell isn’t specifically mentioned in this Psalm of praise, today it was an instrument of praise!
Psalm 33:1-5, 20-22
“Shout for joy in the Lord, O you righteous! Praise befits the upright. Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre, make melody to him with the harp of ten strings! Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts. For the word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the steadfast love of the Lord…Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us even as we hope in you.”
Thursday, May 14, 2009
"Bell Day" Eve
Journal Entry-May 14, 2009
I'm just getting ready for my last chemo. I've had my pre-meds and when they are done, I'll have the "red stuff". I won't miss that one bit! It's getting to be a struggle to just eat the ice and overcome the metallic taste and smell. But I have so many people praying today, I can make it with the grace of God on me.
My appointment with Dr. Go went well. My blood counts were good and my timber marker was level. Dr. Go was pleased with the outcome of the M.R.I. I asked, "Do they usually shrink that much?", and he said "Usually not". That's the Power of the Cross! He scheduled me to go back to him a week after surgery so we can discuss the pathology report. I also have an appointment with the radiation oncologist on June 5, my pre-op day. Side effects from the Taxotere have begun to cause fluid retention , especially on my right side-hands and feet. It is temporary and will go away as soon as the medicine has a chance to get out of my body completely. The bell looks awfully tempting today, but I'll wait until tomorrow!
I finally planted some petunias yesterday. I was getting tired of feeding the squirrels with my seed that was intended for the birds! I hung my hummingbird feeder up instead. Last night at supper and this morning before we left, I saw one! I couldn't believe it attracted them so soon. That squirrel should "count his blessings", because I was beginning to hear rumors that he had a bulls eye on his back!
I'm just getting ready for my last chemo. I've had my pre-meds and when they are done, I'll have the "red stuff". I won't miss that one bit! It's getting to be a struggle to just eat the ice and overcome the metallic taste and smell. But I have so many people praying today, I can make it with the grace of God on me.
My appointment with Dr. Go went well. My blood counts were good and my timber marker was level. Dr. Go was pleased with the outcome of the M.R.I. I asked, "Do they usually shrink that much?", and he said "Usually not". That's the Power of the Cross! He scheduled me to go back to him a week after surgery so we can discuss the pathology report. I also have an appointment with the radiation oncologist on June 5, my pre-op day. Side effects from the Taxotere have begun to cause fluid retention , especially on my right side-hands and feet. It is temporary and will go away as soon as the medicine has a chance to get out of my body completely. The bell looks awfully tempting today, but I'll wait until tomorrow!
I finally planted some petunias yesterday. I was getting tired of feeding the squirrels with my seed that was intended for the birds! I hung my hummingbird feeder up instead. Last night at supper and this morning before we left, I saw one! I couldn't believe it attracted them so soon. That squirrel should "count his blessings", because I was beginning to hear rumors that he had a bulls eye on his back!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day Blessing
Journal Entry-May 10, 2009
I just have to share with you the most wonderful Mother's Day story I've heard. A friend of mine from church has a sister, Amy, that was diagnosed with cancer last fall. She was 7 weeks pregnant at the time with her seventh child. Amy has had surgery and chemotherapy while pregnant with their sweet little boy. As hard as my chemotherapy is, I cannot imagine the burden she has carried as she prayed for protection for her son.
Today on Mother's Day, her son was delivered in the 34th week. He weighs 5 lbs. and 2 oz. and is in the NICU in Colorado. They named him Gilead Victor. Gilead means "monumental testimony" and Victor is for "victorious". Please pray for Amy, Gilead, and her family. Amy will be having more chemotherapy in 2 weeks and then radiation. We both expect to be finished with treatment in the early fall. If you'd like to follow Amy's progress, you can click on the link to her blog in the "Followers" section of my blog. What a special Mother's Day for her whole family! And what praise for our wonderful God!
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. " Psalm 139:14-18
I just have to share with you the most wonderful Mother's Day story I've heard. A friend of mine from church has a sister, Amy, that was diagnosed with cancer last fall. She was 7 weeks pregnant at the time with her seventh child. Amy has had surgery and chemotherapy while pregnant with their sweet little boy. As hard as my chemotherapy is, I cannot imagine the burden she has carried as she prayed for protection for her son.
Today on Mother's Day, her son was delivered in the 34th week. He weighs 5 lbs. and 2 oz. and is in the NICU in Colorado. They named him Gilead Victor. Gilead means "monumental testimony" and Victor is for "victorious". Please pray for Amy, Gilead, and her family. Amy will be having more chemotherapy in 2 weeks and then radiation. We both expect to be finished with treatment in the early fall. If you'd like to follow Amy's progress, you can click on the link to her blog in the "Followers" section of my blog. What a special Mother's Day for her whole family! And what praise for our wonderful God!
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. " Psalm 139:14-18
What a Week!
Journal Entry-May 10, 2009
This is the time of the year that the whirlwind begins and it doesn't let up for several weeks! It's a time of excitement, parties at school, recitals, and exhaustion! But it sure does feel great to be coming to the end of another school year. I've worked two straight weeks at school, gone to two piano recitals this week and a Mother's Day Luncheon. I'm feeling the fatigue today! It was so wonderful to see so many ladies from church since I haven't been able to go in so long. It was such an encouragement as each one shared how they have been praying for me. I hope it was as much of an encouragement to them as it was to me, because it is only through those prayers that I've been able to keep on pressing on through these weeks of chemotherapy. I even got to meet some ladies who have sent me cards and prayed for me that I have never even met!
Joey's recital was Friday night and he received his first Federation Gold Cup for hymn playing along with his "Five Hour Club" trophy. But the most special honor for him was the "Overcomer" Award. Mrs. Penix awards this to the student who has overcome difficulties during the year and was still able to perform well. She awarded it to Joey because of his hand surgery from the football injury that kept his hand in traction for 3 months and his seizure this spring. In spite of it, the Lord strengthened him and blessed him with the ability to keep playing and serving with his talents.
"I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever. I will thank you forever because You have done it." Psalm 52:8
This is the time of the year that the whirlwind begins and it doesn't let up for several weeks! It's a time of excitement, parties at school, recitals, and exhaustion! But it sure does feel great to be coming to the end of another school year. I've worked two straight weeks at school, gone to two piano recitals this week and a Mother's Day Luncheon. I'm feeling the fatigue today! It was so wonderful to see so many ladies from church since I haven't been able to go in so long. It was such an encouragement as each one shared how they have been praying for me. I hope it was as much of an encouragement to them as it was to me, because it is only through those prayers that I've been able to keep on pressing on through these weeks of chemotherapy. I even got to meet some ladies who have sent me cards and prayed for me that I have never even met!
Joey's recital was Friday night and he received his first Federation Gold Cup for hymn playing along with his "Five Hour Club" trophy. But the most special honor for him was the "Overcomer" Award. Mrs. Penix awards this to the student who has overcome difficulties during the year and was still able to perform well. She awarded it to Joey because of his hand surgery from the football injury that kept his hand in traction for 3 months and his seizure this spring. In spite of it, the Lord strengthened him and blessed him with the ability to keep playing and serving with his talents.
"I trust in the steadfast love of God forever and ever. I will thank you forever because You have done it." Psalm 52:8
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Recital Surprise!
Journal Entry-May 6, 2009
I got a sweet surprise last night at Anna's piano and voice recital! After she played her piano solo and sang "The Candy Man", Mrs. K. made an announcement that Anna was going to sing "Complete in Thee" just for me as a surprise! I sing it almost every morning on the way to school and it is one of Anna's favorite songs, as well. She also got her first Federation "Gold Cup" for piano solo! It was a special night for us both!
"Complete in thee, each want supplied, and no good thing to me denied, since Thou, my portion, Lord, will be, I ask no more, complete in thee. Yea, justified, oh, blessed thought! And sanctified, salvation wrought! Thy blood hath pardon bought for me, and glorified I, too, shall be."
I got a sweet surprise last night at Anna's piano and voice recital! After she played her piano solo and sang "The Candy Man", Mrs. K. made an announcement that Anna was going to sing "Complete in Thee" just for me as a surprise! I sing it almost every morning on the way to school and it is one of Anna's favorite songs, as well. She also got her first Federation "Gold Cup" for piano solo! It was a special night for us both!
"Complete in thee, each want supplied, and no good thing to me denied, since Thou, my portion, Lord, will be, I ask no more, complete in thee. Yea, justified, oh, blessed thought! And sanctified, salvation wrought! Thy blood hath pardon bought for me, and glorified I, too, shall be."
Sunday, May 3, 2009
"The Prayer of Faith"
Journal Entry-May 3, 2009
When I actually measured and drew out the difference in the size of the tumors, I was amazed again! The numbers just don't show you like the visual picture of what God did! It is approximately one-eighth the size of the original tumor! And one more chemotherapy to go to make it even smaller!
"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil, in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins one to another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has a great power as it is working." James 5:13-16
When I actually measured and drew out the difference in the size of the tumors, I was amazed again! The numbers just don't show you like the visual picture of what God did! It is approximately one-eighth the size of the original tumor! And one more chemotherapy to go to make it even smaller!
"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil, in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins one to another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has a great power as it is working." James 5:13-16
Friday, May 1, 2009
"Press On Toward the Goal"!
Journal Entry- May 1, 2009
The results of my M.R.I. were very encouraging! The original tumor measured 5.4 cm X 2.8 cm. Now the tumor is measuring 1.4 cm X 1.1 cm! I won't discuss the results with Dr. Go until May 12 and with Dr. Rippon, the surgeon, until May 21, but for now...this is great news!
Thank you for all of your prayers! It is so uplifting to me to hear so many of you say you are praying for me every day. It is this intercession and the constant intercession of our Lord Jesus before the throne that sustains us!
"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14
The results of my M.R.I. were very encouraging! The original tumor measured 5.4 cm X 2.8 cm. Now the tumor is measuring 1.4 cm X 1.1 cm! I won't discuss the results with Dr. Go until May 12 and with Dr. Rippon, the surgeon, until May 21, but for now...this is great news!
Thank you for all of your prayers! It is so uplifting to me to hear so many of you say you are praying for me every day. It is this intercession and the constant intercession of our Lord Jesus before the throne that sustains us!
"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14
Friday, April 24, 2009
Countdown to "Bell Day"!
Journal Entry-April 24, 2009
I have completed my 5th chemotherapy and I am counting down to my last! It will be May 14. I will come back on May 15 for fluids and my shot. So May 15 is my "Bell Day"! As I've mentioned before, there's a brass bell on the wall of the chemotherapy room. Whenever you complete your treatments, you ring the bell! On the plaque is this verse:
"'For I will restore health to you, and heal you of your wounds,’ says the LORD"
Jeremiah 30:17a
I've already warned everyone to bring their earplugs that day because it's going to be loud!
Joey's results from his MRI are normal! Praise the Lord! We will just continue to monitor his progress and trust the Lord for no more seizures! My MRI will be Thursday, April 30. This should tell how much the tumor has shrunk. Thank you for your prayers!
I have completed my 5th chemotherapy and I am counting down to my last! It will be May 14. I will come back on May 15 for fluids and my shot. So May 15 is my "Bell Day"! As I've mentioned before, there's a brass bell on the wall of the chemotherapy room. Whenever you complete your treatments, you ring the bell! On the plaque is this verse:
"'For I will restore health to you, and heal you of your wounds,’ says the LORD"
Jeremiah 30:17a
I've already warned everyone to bring their earplugs that day because it's going to be loud!
Joey's results from his MRI are normal! Praise the Lord! We will just continue to monitor his progress and trust the Lord for no more seizures! My MRI will be Thursday, April 30. This should tell how much the tumor has shrunk. Thank you for your prayers!
Thursday, April 23, 2009
"Let not your "heart" be troubled"
Journal Entry-April 23, 2009
I started the week with literal "heart" concern. I had shortness of breath and some tightness in my chest over the weekend. Dr. Go sent me for a CT scan of my heart and an EKG. There were no blood clots in my heart, which was a big praise. Dr. Go told us today that my heart ejection fraction had actually gone up from my previous EKG! My heart is stronger today than it was in January, despite the chemotherapy drugs! And my red blood cell counts went from 10.8 at my last chemotherapy to 11.4 today! Thank you Amy for the tip about the chlorophyll and alfalfa tablets and thank you Lord for doing great things! Now that the “big” things have been ruled out as causes for my symptoms, the only thing left is just chemotherapy fatigue. Each treatment takes a little more out of me and makes it a little harder to bounce back. Dr. Go said to keep up my activity level to keep my body conditioned. I don’t think I can be any more active, so I’m glad it’s helping!
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
Joey had his MRI on Tuesday evening. We are waiting for a report from Dr. Morales. It has been very hard dropping him off at school and letting him get out of my sight. I have comforted myself with Psalm 121 and the thought of the deep, deep love of Jesus being underneath him and all around him.
“Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore, how He came to pay our ransom through the saving cross He bore; How He watches o’er his loved ones; those He died to make His own, How for them He’s interceding, pleading now before the throne. Oh the deep, deep love, all I need and trust is the deep, deep love of Jesus. Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, far surpassing all the rest, it’s an ocean full of blessing in the midst of every test. Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, mighty Savior, precious Friend. You will bring us home to glory, where Your love will never end.” (from “Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus”-Galkin Evangelistic Team)
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me…Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us." Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me” John 14:1a, 8-9a
“Am I hurting Jesus by allowing my heart to be troubled? If I believe the character of Jesus, am I living up to my belief? Am I allowing anything to perturb my heart, any morbid questions to come in? I have to get to the implicit relationship that takes everything as it comes from Him. God never guides presently, but always now. Realize that the Lord is here now, and the emancipation if immediate.” (from “My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)
I started the week with literal "heart" concern. I had shortness of breath and some tightness in my chest over the weekend. Dr. Go sent me for a CT scan of my heart and an EKG. There were no blood clots in my heart, which was a big praise. Dr. Go told us today that my heart ejection fraction had actually gone up from my previous EKG! My heart is stronger today than it was in January, despite the chemotherapy drugs! And my red blood cell counts went from 10.8 at my last chemotherapy to 11.4 today! Thank you Amy for the tip about the chlorophyll and alfalfa tablets and thank you Lord for doing great things! Now that the “big” things have been ruled out as causes for my symptoms, the only thing left is just chemotherapy fatigue. Each treatment takes a little more out of me and makes it a little harder to bounce back. Dr. Go said to keep up my activity level to keep my body conditioned. I don’t think I can be any more active, so I’m glad it’s helping!
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
Joey had his MRI on Tuesday evening. We are waiting for a report from Dr. Morales. It has been very hard dropping him off at school and letting him get out of my sight. I have comforted myself with Psalm 121 and the thought of the deep, deep love of Jesus being underneath him and all around him.
“Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, spread His praise from shore to shore, how He came to pay our ransom through the saving cross He bore; How He watches o’er his loved ones; those He died to make His own, How for them He’s interceding, pleading now before the throne. Oh the deep, deep love, all I need and trust is the deep, deep love of Jesus. Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, far surpassing all the rest, it’s an ocean full of blessing in the midst of every test. Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus, mighty Savior, precious Friend. You will bring us home to glory, where Your love will never end.” (from “Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus”-Galkin Evangelistic Team)
"Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me…Philip said to him, "Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us." Jesus said to him, "Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me” John 14:1a, 8-9a
“Am I hurting Jesus by allowing my heart to be troubled? If I believe the character of Jesus, am I living up to my belief? Am I allowing anything to perturb my heart, any morbid questions to come in? I have to get to the implicit relationship that takes everything as it comes from Him. God never guides presently, but always now. Realize that the Lord is here now, and the emancipation if immediate.” (from “My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Doctors and the Power of Prayer!
Journal Entry-April 19, 2009
I started off this week by trying to schedule Joey's EEG with Pediatric Neurology. They were able to work us in for the EEG on Thursday. At this point, the nurse told me it could be up to two weeks before the EEG was read. If it was normal, we wouldn't see a doctor for 3 months. If it was abnormal, they would work us in for an appointment. It was a little discouraging. When you get to this level of specialty, everyone's child is having seizures so you aren't that special!
I told a dear friend of mine that God was going to have to work a miracle like he did with Joey's hand surgeon back in September. Right after Joey's hand injury, I was trying to schedule an appointment with Dr. Rudisell, because we had heard he was very experienced with hand surgeries. They told me they were booking 3 months out for him so we would have to take the first available. They put me on hold and when they returned they said, "You sure are lucky because we just had a cancellation for Dr. Rudisell and he can see you tomorrow." I told them it wasn't luck, that it was the Lord!
So I wasn't surprised when later the same day I spoke with the neurologist's office, someone called to tell me that they had scheduled Joey for an appointment with the nurse practitioner immediately following his EEG and that Dr. Morales (the doctor we wanted) would pop his head in for 5-10 minutes and look at the EEG. I was thrilled that we would know something right away on Thursday! But the Lord wasn't done with the blessing! On Thursday after the EEG, we saw Dr. Morales for 40 minutes and never even saw the nurse practitioner! Joey's test showed signs of abnormalities. Dr. Morales ordered a brain M.R.I for Tuesday at 6:00 pm. He also requested doctor notes and pathology reports of Joey's birthmark that was removed last summer. He said that some types of birthmarks can be linked to seizure activity, so he wanted to follow-up with the reports. Thanks so much for all the calls, emails, and prayers for Joey. He is feeling fine and getting lots of rest! I'll update with new information as we get it this week.
Four days until cheomo. #5! I can feel the fatigue and muscle aches as my counts drop this time just like last time. I found out that Amy Bixby was taking liquid chlorophyll and alfalpha tablets to increase her hemoglobin. They were seeing positive results in raising her red blood cell counts. So I have started to use them this weekend. I don’t know if it will be evident in my blood counts on Thursday, but it will hopefully begin to raise them as I finish chemo. and prepare for surgery. Any low white or red blood cell counts could delay surgery.
As I "wait on the Lord" for Joey and for myself, I am drawn back to this verse that a dear friend shared with me during the time of "not knowing" in January.
Isaiah 30:20-21 "And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it" when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."
I started off this week by trying to schedule Joey's EEG with Pediatric Neurology. They were able to work us in for the EEG on Thursday. At this point, the nurse told me it could be up to two weeks before the EEG was read. If it was normal, we wouldn't see a doctor for 3 months. If it was abnormal, they would work us in for an appointment. It was a little discouraging. When you get to this level of specialty, everyone's child is having seizures so you aren't that special!
I told a dear friend of mine that God was going to have to work a miracle like he did with Joey's hand surgeon back in September. Right after Joey's hand injury, I was trying to schedule an appointment with Dr. Rudisell, because we had heard he was very experienced with hand surgeries. They told me they were booking 3 months out for him so we would have to take the first available. They put me on hold and when they returned they said, "You sure are lucky because we just had a cancellation for Dr. Rudisell and he can see you tomorrow." I told them it wasn't luck, that it was the Lord!
So I wasn't surprised when later the same day I spoke with the neurologist's office, someone called to tell me that they had scheduled Joey for an appointment with the nurse practitioner immediately following his EEG and that Dr. Morales (the doctor we wanted) would pop his head in for 5-10 minutes and look at the EEG. I was thrilled that we would know something right away on Thursday! But the Lord wasn't done with the blessing! On Thursday after the EEG, we saw Dr. Morales for 40 minutes and never even saw the nurse practitioner! Joey's test showed signs of abnormalities. Dr. Morales ordered a brain M.R.I for Tuesday at 6:00 pm. He also requested doctor notes and pathology reports of Joey's birthmark that was removed last summer. He said that some types of birthmarks can be linked to seizure activity, so he wanted to follow-up with the reports. Thanks so much for all the calls, emails, and prayers for Joey. He is feeling fine and getting lots of rest! I'll update with new information as we get it this week.
Four days until cheomo. #5! I can feel the fatigue and muscle aches as my counts drop this time just like last time. I found out that Amy Bixby was taking liquid chlorophyll and alfalpha tablets to increase her hemoglobin. They were seeing positive results in raising her red blood cell counts. So I have started to use them this weekend. I don’t know if it will be evident in my blood counts on Thursday, but it will hopefully begin to raise them as I finish chemo. and prepare for surgery. Any low white or red blood cell counts could delay surgery.
As I "wait on the Lord" for Joey and for myself, I am drawn back to this verse that a dear friend shared with me during the time of "not knowing" in January.
Isaiah 30:20-21 "And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it" when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."
Sunday, April 12, 2009
"He is not here, for He has risen, as He said." Matthew 28:6
Journal Entry-April 12, 2009
There have been very few times over the years that I have missed going to church on Easter Sunday, but this year is one of those times. It is always very uplifting to sing the songs and hear the message of Easter! The message that "He has risen, as He said."! This is all our hope and peace! God Bless each of you as you celebrate with your families this wonderful Resurrection Day!
There have been very few times over the years that I have missed going to church on Easter Sunday, but this year is one of those times. It is always very uplifting to sing the songs and hear the message of Easter! The message that "He has risen, as He said."! This is all our hope and peace! God Bless each of you as you celebrate with your families this wonderful Resurrection Day!
Good Friday
Journal Entry- April 10, 2009
Except for a short walk to the creek with Anna yesterday, this is the first day I've been out of the house during Spring Break. This week has seemed very long.
"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night...Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my salvation, and my God...By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life."
Psalm 42:1-3, 5, 8
Anna and I picked Joey up from a sleepover at a friend's house and began our shopping. We took a break for lunch at Cherrydale then headed to Hamricks to look for an Easter dress for Anna. We had been there only a short time when Joey came up to me looking sick and saying he felt like he would pass out. I told him to sit down on the floor. Within a few minutes, his head starting shaking and his eyes would not focus. Then he had a seizure. I yelled for someone to call EMS then just tried to keep his head from hitting the floor. There was a nurse near me telling me to keep him on his side and some store attendants caring for Anna. I was praying prayers over him and could hear the sweet name of Jesus being uttered in prayer by others all around me. By the time EMS arrived, the seizure had stopped. He was awake and talking to us before they left the store. They transported him to the ER and Joe met us there. The CAT scan and blood work was normal. But since there is no history of seizures and there was no fever, the doctor is having us follow-up with a Pediatric Neurologist early next week. He will have an EEG, or brain wave scan done. She said that sleep deprivation, from the sleepover, is most likely what triggered it, but other factors may be involved that would only show up with further testing. He has rested this weekend, and will be at school Monday. We'll know more after we call the neurologist's office on Monday.
They gave him an anti-seizure medication and we put him to bed at 8:00 Friday night. I checked on him several times before I went to bed and he was sleeping soundly. At 4:30 a.m., I woke up with a bright light in my eyes. It was the soft moonlight from the full moon shining through the blinds of my window. I got up to check on Joey. He was again sleeping peacefully. It reminded me of the "Moon Song" I used to sing with him when he was younger and still do with Anna whenever the moon is shining in on her at bedtime. "I see the moon and the moon sees me; God bless the moon and God bless me; Thank you for the moon and thank you for me; Thank you God for everything." I went back to bed knowing that in a few hours that same moon would be shining in on my sweet boy through his window as he slept. In my devotions on Saturday, the Lord reminded me of a Psalm I have prayed for Joey and Anna from birth. When Joey was younger, I crosstitched part of the verse on a blanket he slept with every night.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
Except for a short walk to the creek with Anna yesterday, this is the first day I've been out of the house during Spring Break. This week has seemed very long.
"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night...Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my salvation, and my God...By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life."
Psalm 42:1-3, 5, 8
Anna and I picked Joey up from a sleepover at a friend's house and began our shopping. We took a break for lunch at Cherrydale then headed to Hamricks to look for an Easter dress for Anna. We had been there only a short time when Joey came up to me looking sick and saying he felt like he would pass out. I told him to sit down on the floor. Within a few minutes, his head starting shaking and his eyes would not focus. Then he had a seizure. I yelled for someone to call EMS then just tried to keep his head from hitting the floor. There was a nurse near me telling me to keep him on his side and some store attendants caring for Anna. I was praying prayers over him and could hear the sweet name of Jesus being uttered in prayer by others all around me. By the time EMS arrived, the seizure had stopped. He was awake and talking to us before they left the store. They transported him to the ER and Joe met us there. The CAT scan and blood work was normal. But since there is no history of seizures and there was no fever, the doctor is having us follow-up with a Pediatric Neurologist early next week. He will have an EEG, or brain wave scan done. She said that sleep deprivation, from the sleepover, is most likely what triggered it, but other factors may be involved that would only show up with further testing. He has rested this weekend, and will be at school Monday. We'll know more after we call the neurologist's office on Monday.
They gave him an anti-seizure medication and we put him to bed at 8:00 Friday night. I checked on him several times before I went to bed and he was sleeping soundly. At 4:30 a.m., I woke up with a bright light in my eyes. It was the soft moonlight from the full moon shining through the blinds of my window. I got up to check on Joey. He was again sleeping peacefully. It reminded me of the "Moon Song" I used to sing with him when he was younger and still do with Anna whenever the moon is shining in on her at bedtime. "I see the moon and the moon sees me; God bless the moon and God bless me; Thank you for the moon and thank you for me; Thank you God for everything." I went back to bed knowing that in a few hours that same moon would be shining in on my sweet boy through his window as he slept. In my devotions on Saturday, the Lord reminded me of a Psalm I have prayed for Joey and Anna from birth. When Joey was younger, I crosstitched part of the verse on a blanket he slept with every night.
Psalm 121
"I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil; He will keep your life. The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore."
Thursday, April 2, 2009
4th Chemotherapy
Journal Entry-April 2, 2009
I have just met with Dr. Go and am starting my chemo. for today. My red blood cell counts are down. He said that in the past there was a shot they would give, but the benefits of it were minimal and not worth the side-effects. It is not low enough to keep me from my chemo. but enough to produce the fatigue and leg pain that I have felt the past week. The Lord just knew I needed Spring Break next week to rest! I have my Vicks Vapor Rub close at hand and am doing OK with the nausea right now. As I came through the door to the chemo. room, I focused on the words of a song from a new CD that friends from church gave me. “O the deep, deep love of Jesus; vast unmeasured, boundless, free; Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me; underneath me, all around me is the current of your love; Leading onward, leading homeward to your glorious rest above.” I have a surgery date set for June 10, so I am focusing upward and onward!
"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed...for Thou art my praise." Jeremiah 17:14
I have a big praise this week. An insurance claim that I have been trying to appeal for 6 months was finally resolved in our favor! We will be getting a refund from the doctor's office soon.
"Let us come boldly to the very throne of God and stay there"! God will always answer in His time.
Our school had "Dress Down for a Cause" day yesterday to raise money for Relay for Life, an organization that raises money for cancer research. We have also sold T-shirts that say "Fight Like a Girl" and have raised almost $1,000 so far on T-shirt sales alone. A large group of us posed for a picture that I have posted, along with one of the "4K Crew" (the wonderful ladies I work with every day). I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of the staff at East North Street! They always have smiles, prayers, offers for assistance, and encouraging words for me every day. Not only are they sharing, but they are caring! The Lord has blessed me greatly by being a part of this wonderful group of people.
"A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17
"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24b
I have just met with Dr. Go and am starting my chemo. for today. My red blood cell counts are down. He said that in the past there was a shot they would give, but the benefits of it were minimal and not worth the side-effects. It is not low enough to keep me from my chemo. but enough to produce the fatigue and leg pain that I have felt the past week. The Lord just knew I needed Spring Break next week to rest! I have my Vicks Vapor Rub close at hand and am doing OK with the nausea right now. As I came through the door to the chemo. room, I focused on the words of a song from a new CD that friends from church gave me. “O the deep, deep love of Jesus; vast unmeasured, boundless, free; Rolling as a mighty ocean in its fullness over me; underneath me, all around me is the current of your love; Leading onward, leading homeward to your glorious rest above.” I have a surgery date set for June 10, so I am focusing upward and onward!
"Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed...for Thou art my praise." Jeremiah 17:14
I have a big praise this week. An insurance claim that I have been trying to appeal for 6 months was finally resolved in our favor! We will be getting a refund from the doctor's office soon.
"Let us come boldly to the very throne of God and stay there"! God will always answer in His time.
Our school had "Dress Down for a Cause" day yesterday to raise money for Relay for Life, an organization that raises money for cancer research. We have also sold T-shirts that say "Fight Like a Girl" and have raised almost $1,000 so far on T-shirt sales alone. A large group of us posed for a picture that I have posted, along with one of the "4K Crew" (the wonderful ladies I work with every day). I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of the staff at East North Street! They always have smiles, prayers, offers for assistance, and encouraging words for me every day. Not only are they sharing, but they are caring! The Lord has blessed me greatly by being a part of this wonderful group of people.
"A friend loves at all times." Proverbs 17:17
"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24b
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Spring Rains and Sunshine
Journal Entry-March 29, 2009
Leviticus 26:4 "I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit."
The four days of spring rain we've had have been such a blessing this week. But I'm sure there are not many people (especially teachers!) who don't yearn to see the sun after those rains! Even God's creatures seek out the sun. Today our dog, Brissy, sought out the sunny corner of her kennel to bask in the sun. In my classroom, we have 10 Painted Lady Butterflies that we have watched change from tiny caterpillars to beautiful butterflies. On Friday, we moved their tent toward the turtle's basking light. Six out of ten immediately flew to the light source and began slowly opening and closing their wings. Those who have trusted Jesus as their Savior will one day be in a place where the sun is no longer needed!
"And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb." Revelation 21:23
Rain or shine, there is always "sunshine" in my heart from the cards, emails, phone calls, and greetings from so many of you! Thank you for your prayers and words to me that are "fitly spoken".
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:17
Leviticus 26:4 "I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit."
The four days of spring rain we've had have been such a blessing this week. But I'm sure there are not many people (especially teachers!) who don't yearn to see the sun after those rains! Even God's creatures seek out the sun. Today our dog, Brissy, sought out the sunny corner of her kennel to bask in the sun. In my classroom, we have 10 Painted Lady Butterflies that we have watched change from tiny caterpillars to beautiful butterflies. On Friday, we moved their tent toward the turtle's basking light. Six out of ten immediately flew to the light source and began slowly opening and closing their wings. Those who have trusted Jesus as their Savior will one day be in a place where the sun is no longer needed!
"And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb." Revelation 21:23
Rain or shine, there is always "sunshine" in my heart from the cards, emails, phone calls, and greetings from so many of you! Thank you for your prayers and words to me that are "fitly spoken".
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:17
Sunday, March 22, 2009
SCACS Fine Arts
Journal Entry-March 19-20, 2009
I was able to go to the State SCACS Fine Arts Festival in Columbia with Joey on Thursday and Friday. It was a blessing not just to hear Joey play and sing, but to hear all the other students from Hampton Park Christian School and the other 24 Christian schools represented there. They were using their talents for the glory of their Lord and also enjoying the excitement of competition after training so diligently. It was such a great time of bonding for the teachers, the parents, and the students. Joey and Matthew placed first with their sacred piano duet. Joey placed second with his sacred piano solo. The HPCS High School Band placed first. Joey will go as a percussionist with the band to National Competition next month.
Our God is a great God- a God who commands our praise, our service, our talents, our love, and our lives!
I was able to go to the State SCACS Fine Arts Festival in Columbia with Joey on Thursday and Friday. It was a blessing not just to hear Joey play and sing, but to hear all the other students from Hampton Park Christian School and the other 24 Christian schools represented there. They were using their talents for the glory of their Lord and also enjoying the excitement of competition after training so diligently. It was such a great time of bonding for the teachers, the parents, and the students. Joey and Matthew placed first with their sacred piano duet. Joey placed second with his sacred piano solo. The HPCS High School Band placed first. Joey will go as a percussionist with the band to National Competition next month.
Our God is a great God- a God who commands our praise, our service, our talents, our love, and our lives!
Encouragement in the valley
Journal Entry-March 14-18, 2009
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones...The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned." Psalm 34:19-22
"I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee." Jeremiah 30:17
"What do we do when we face challenges that make us wonder what's ahead? The answers are not always easy, and the direction is not always clear. In these circumstances, our hope is in God alone. Our lives and our times are in His hands, and He assures us that He is the rock we can stand upon through the storm.” Roy Lessin
"From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
I want to thank everyone so much for the extra intercession on my behalf for the first week after my chemotherapy. It is a valley, but as I walk through it I know I'll eventually come out on the other side and it's only because so many are praying for grace as I go. The food, the kind words, the thoughts, and prayers are sustaining.
"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading. It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us "go". The root of faith is the knowledge of a Person. The life of faith is not a life of always mounting up with wings, but a life of walking and not fainting...a faith that has been proved and has stood the test...a tried faith built on a real God." (From My Utmost for His Highest)
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones...The Lord redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in Him will be condemned." Psalm 34:19-22
"I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee." Jeremiah 30:17
"What do we do when we face challenges that make us wonder what's ahead? The answers are not always easy, and the direction is not always clear. In these circumstances, our hope is in God alone. Our lives and our times are in His hands, and He assures us that He is the rock we can stand upon through the storm.” Roy Lessin
"From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
I want to thank everyone so much for the extra intercession on my behalf for the first week after my chemotherapy. It is a valley, but as I walk through it I know I'll eventually come out on the other side and it's only because so many are praying for grace as I go. The food, the kind words, the thoughts, and prayers are sustaining.
"Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading. It is a life of faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us "go". The root of faith is the knowledge of a Person. The life of faith is not a life of always mounting up with wings, but a life of walking and not fainting...a faith that has been proved and has stood the test...a tried faith built on a real God." (From My Utmost for His Highest)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Wonderfully Made
Journal Entry-March 15, 2009
This round has been a little tough to shake! From the moment I walked into the chemo. room on Thursday, the smell of the chemicals hit me like a brick wall. I asked Joe if he smelled them and he didn't. Later I talked to Cassie, my nurse, and she said the nurses don't smell them either. But a lot of patients do begin to really get nauseated when they come for treatment after they've been through a few rounds. She said unfortunately, it doesn't get any easier. She told me to try some Vicks Vapor Rub on my nose before I come in each time from here on out. It helped on Friday when I went back for my shot and fluids. Even with all the medicines I'm taking for side effects, I'm having trouble getting past the nausea and chemical taste. Hopefully it will subside little by little over the next few days. I'm planning to try to make it at work tomorrow.
I had been wondering why certain side effects seem to be so predictable on certain days after my chemotherapy. Such as the mouth sores and heartburn around day 5-7 and the eye and nose discomfort after day 12-14. He said that all the linings of these organs (nose, eyes, throat, stomach, etc.) are continually peeling off layers and renewing themselves. The chemicals I receive target rapidly dividing cells and it can't tell the difference between the good and the bad. So when I get my chemotherapy, it kills the layer of renewing cells underneath. And when it's time for that new layer of cells to take over, they aren't there! This causes the irritation until a new layer is grown to replace it. It continues to amaze me how wonderfully God made us!
This round has been a little tough to shake! From the moment I walked into the chemo. room on Thursday, the smell of the chemicals hit me like a brick wall. I asked Joe if he smelled them and he didn't. Later I talked to Cassie, my nurse, and she said the nurses don't smell them either. But a lot of patients do begin to really get nauseated when they come for treatment after they've been through a few rounds. She said unfortunately, it doesn't get any easier. She told me to try some Vicks Vapor Rub on my nose before I come in each time from here on out. It helped on Friday when I went back for my shot and fluids. Even with all the medicines I'm taking for side effects, I'm having trouble getting past the nausea and chemical taste. Hopefully it will subside little by little over the next few days. I'm planning to try to make it at work tomorrow.
I had been wondering why certain side effects seem to be so predictable on certain days after my chemotherapy. Such as the mouth sores and heartburn around day 5-7 and the eye and nose discomfort after day 12-14. He said that all the linings of these organs (nose, eyes, throat, stomach, etc.) are continually peeling off layers and renewing themselves. The chemicals I receive target rapidly dividing cells and it can't tell the difference between the good and the bad. So when I get my chemotherapy, it kills the layer of renewing cells underneath. And when it's time for that new layer of cells to take over, they aren't there! This causes the irritation until a new layer is grown to replace it. It continues to amaze me how wonderfully God made us!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
3rd Chemotherapy
Journal Entry-March 12, 2009
It was great to be in the house of the Lord last night. It is so encouraging to see and talk to people there, but mostly to sing praises to my Lord and hear a Word from Him. Joey and Matthew played their sacred solos for the prelude and their duet for the offertory. Only 3 months ago he was just beginning to use his right hand again following his surgery and hand therapy. It is such a blessing to hear Anna and Joey as they practice piano and voice at home. When they are singing or playing hymns it really lifts my spirit to sing in my heart the truths of the words. My great aunt Louise and her daughter, Judy, were able to come and hear Joey play. Judy is a church organist and played for our wedding. It was wonderful to have them there.
I have met with Dr. Go and my blood counts are good today. I am in my chemo. chair awaiting my third treatment. Joan, the Thursday volunteer, has stocked us up with sodas, crackers, and a pillow for me! 3 down-3 to go!
It was great to be in the house of the Lord last night. It is so encouraging to see and talk to people there, but mostly to sing praises to my Lord and hear a Word from Him. Joey and Matthew played their sacred solos for the prelude and their duet for the offertory. Only 3 months ago he was just beginning to use his right hand again following his surgery and hand therapy. It is such a blessing to hear Anna and Joey as they practice piano and voice at home. When they are singing or playing hymns it really lifts my spirit to sing in my heart the truths of the words. My great aunt Louise and her daughter, Judy, were able to come and hear Joey play. Judy is a church organist and played for our wedding. It was wonderful to have them there.
I have met with Dr. Go and my blood counts are good today. I am in my chemo. chair awaiting my third treatment. Joan, the Thursday volunteer, has stocked us up with sodas, crackers, and a pillow for me! 3 down-3 to go!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hair-the Perfect Head Covering
Journal Entry-March 7, 2009
I was contemplating hair today as I struggled with the “uncomfortableness” of my turban while it pressed my glasses against my head! God is so amazing that He gave us a perfect head covering when he gave us hair! It keeps our heads warm in the cold weather. It protects our heads from sunburn. It doesn't blow off!! It ventilates and cools you in the warm weather. It doesn't press against your glasses and give you a headache! I miss my hair, but it will return!
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14
I was contemplating hair today as I struggled with the “uncomfortableness” of my turban while it pressed my glasses against my head! God is so amazing that He gave us a perfect head covering when he gave us hair! It keeps our heads warm in the cold weather. It protects our heads from sunburn. It doesn't blow off!! It ventilates and cools you in the warm weather. It doesn't press against your glasses and give you a headache! I miss my hair, but it will return!
"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14
True Thirst
Journal Entry-March 6, 2009
Happy 14th Birthday, Joey! We used a gift certificate from some dear friends of ours to go out to eat at the Olive Garden. It was very special and the food was delicious. If you see Joey, ask him to tell you about the Italian birthday song!
A friend sent some verse cards to me this week. One of the verses was about thirst. I've never known thirst like I have since I started chemotherapy. It seems like no matter how much I drink, I'm parched with thirst. Even my nose, eyes, and throat burn with dryness. But how wonderful it is to read that no thirst is too great for God!
"The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Isreal, will not forsake. I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the waste land, the fir and cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:17-20
Earlier this week, we received a meal from someone I have never even met! Her daughter is in Kids For Truth with Anna and she heard about my cancer. She sent a huge bag full of food and an encouraging note. The Lord is so good to bless us in so many ways. I look forward to meeting her soon!
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
"My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14
"I will go in the strength of the Lord God." Psalm 71:16
Happy 14th Birthday, Joey! We used a gift certificate from some dear friends of ours to go out to eat at the Olive Garden. It was very special and the food was delicious. If you see Joey, ask him to tell you about the Italian birthday song!
A friend sent some verse cards to me this week. One of the verses was about thirst. I've never known thirst like I have since I started chemotherapy. It seems like no matter how much I drink, I'm parched with thirst. Even my nose, eyes, and throat burn with dryness. But how wonderful it is to read that no thirst is too great for God!
"The poor and needy search for water, but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Isreal, will not forsake. I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys. I will turn the desert into pools of water, and the parched ground into springs. I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set pines in the waste land, the fir and cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the Lord has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it." Isaiah 41:17-20
Earlier this week, we received a meal from someone I have never even met! Her daughter is in Kids For Truth with Anna and she heard about my cancer. She sent a huge bag full of food and an encouraging note. The Lord is so good to bless us in so many ways. I look forward to meeting her soon!
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you...Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
"My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14
"I will go in the strength of the Lord God." Psalm 71:16
Snow Days
Journal Entry-March 2-3, 2009
Snow-glorious snow! What a peaceful and beautiful reminder of God's supremacy and care for us. We had two days off from school. They were "jewels" I treasured. We had a wonderful time sledding and snowball fighting. I'm so thankful I could get out and enjoy this time with my family.
A friend of mine who is also battling cancer sent me this verse today. "I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets." Psalm 18:42
This is what God is doing through the chemotherapy to our cancer!
Snow-glorious snow! What a peaceful and beautiful reminder of God's supremacy and care for us. We had two days off from school. They were "jewels" I treasured. We had a wonderful time sledding and snowball fighting. I'm so thankful I could get out and enjoy this time with my family.
A friend of mine who is also battling cancer sent me this verse today. "I beat them fine as dust before the wind; I cast them out like the mire of the streets." Psalm 18:42
This is what God is doing through the chemotherapy to our cancer!
Pancakes and Brownies
Journal Entry-March 1, 2009
I was able to make pancakes and brownies for my family this weekend!
"The times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord." Acts 3:19
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge."
Psalm 18:2
I was able to make pancakes and brownies for my family this weekend!
"The times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord." Acts 3:19
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock in whom I take refuge."
Psalm 18:2
The Flu Has Arrived!
Journal Entry-February 28, 2009
Anna has been running a fever off and on since Monday and we found out Thursday she has Type B influenza. But the Lord is gracious and has protected us all from the germs. She is feeling a little better. I was able to take Joey and Anna to Federation at BJU today. Joey is playing piano solo and hymn playing. Anna is playing piano solo and doing vocal solo. I'm thankful to be able to go with them and celebrate the talents the Lord has given them.
"Lead me in thy truth, and teach me; for thou art the God of my salvation. On Thee do I wait all the day." Psalm 25:5
"I will bring health and healing..." Jeremiah 33:6
"I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God; in Him will I trust." Psalm 91:2
"He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wing shalt thou trust." Psalm 91:4
Anna has been running a fever off and on since Monday and we found out Thursday she has Type B influenza. But the Lord is gracious and has protected us all from the germs. She is feeling a little better. I was able to take Joey and Anna to Federation at BJU today. Joey is playing piano solo and hymn playing. Anna is playing piano solo and doing vocal solo. I'm thankful to be able to go with them and celebrate the talents the Lord has given them.
"Lead me in thy truth, and teach me; for thou art the God of my salvation. On Thee do I wait all the day." Psalm 25:5
"I will bring health and healing..." Jeremiah 33:6
"I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God; in Him will I trust." Psalm 91:2
"He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wing shalt thou trust." Psalm 91:4
Arise and Shine!
Journal Entry-February 23-27, 2009
I've been able to work all week. This week in my devotions (My Utmost for His Highest) I've read these thoughts on drudgery and despair.
"Arise from the dead." Ephesians 5:14
"Arise and eat." I Kings 19:5
"Arise, shine!" Isaiah 60:1
"When the inspiration of God does come, it comes with such miraculous power that we are able to arise from the dead and do the impossible thing. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life comes after we do the "bucking up". God does not give us overcoming life; He gives us life as we overcome. We have to take the first step as though there were no God. It is no use to wait for God to help us, He will not; but immediately we arise, we find He is there. It requires the inspiration of God to go through drudgery with the light of God upon it."
There have been many times this week when it was all I could do to just arise-and do the next thing. I need the Lord to help me "shine"!
I've been able to work all week. This week in my devotions (My Utmost for His Highest) I've read these thoughts on drudgery and despair.
"Arise from the dead." Ephesians 5:14
"Arise and eat." I Kings 19:5
"Arise, shine!" Isaiah 60:1
"When the inspiration of God does come, it comes with such miraculous power that we are able to arise from the dead and do the impossible thing. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life comes after we do the "bucking up". God does not give us overcoming life; He gives us life as we overcome. We have to take the first step as though there were no God. It is no use to wait for God to help us, He will not; but immediately we arise, we find He is there. It requires the inspiration of God to go through drudgery with the light of God upon it."
There have been many times this week when it was all I could do to just arise-and do the next thing. I need the Lord to help me "shine"!
2nd Chemotherapy
Journal Entry-February 19-20, 2009
My second chemotherapy was today. My blood counts were normal. The results from my PET scan were normal also! They did not find any signs of cancer anywhere else in my body. Chemotherapy went as expected. I went back on Friday for my fluids and shot. The bone pain was a little better this time; the nausea, maybe a little worse. The burning in my throat and stomach is much worse this time. But I am planning on going to work tomorrow. The pain will be there at home or work, so I might as well just press on!
I do have a big praise! I was able to order one of my expensive medications from a different place and it saved us a lot of money! But...they were out of stock and had to order it. They sent it out on Monday of this week with the expected arrival date of Friday. I needed the medicine to take on Friday morning for nausea. The lady on the phone said she really hoped it would make it on time. I told her I would do better than that-I would pray that it would make it on Thursday! When we got home from chemo. on Thursday, there was a delivery note in our box that we had missed the mail carrier when she stopped to deliver the medicine. I called the post office and they tracked her down on her route. Joe was able to meet her close by and get the medicine!
To God be the glory!
My second chemotherapy was today. My blood counts were normal. The results from my PET scan were normal also! They did not find any signs of cancer anywhere else in my body. Chemotherapy went as expected. I went back on Friday for my fluids and shot. The bone pain was a little better this time; the nausea, maybe a little worse. The burning in my throat and stomach is much worse this time. But I am planning on going to work tomorrow. The pain will be there at home or work, so I might as well just press on!
I do have a big praise! I was able to order one of my expensive medications from a different place and it saved us a lot of money! But...they were out of stock and had to order it. They sent it out on Monday of this week with the expected arrival date of Friday. I needed the medicine to take on Friday morning for nausea. The lady on the phone said she really hoped it would make it on time. I told her I would do better than that-I would pray that it would make it on Thursday! When we got home from chemo. on Thursday, there was a delivery note in our box that we had missed the mail carrier when she stopped to deliver the medicine. I called the post office and they tracked her down on her route. Joe was able to meet her close by and get the medicine!
To God be the glory!
Grace Under Trial
Journal Entry-February 18, 2009
I received a card at church telling me that an "angel" had arranged for me to receive all the CDs of the Ladies Bible Study at church free of charge! This is such a blessing! The theme is "Grace under Trial" so I know these will be a great encouragement to me during my treatment.
I received a card at church telling me that an "angel" had arranged for me to receive all the CDs of the Ladies Bible Study at church free of charge! This is such a blessing! The theme is "Grace under Trial" so I know these will be a great encouragement to me during my treatment.
"Good Measure...Running Over"
Journal Entry-February 16, 2009
Tonight a group of ladies from church sent us seven freezer meals! We were overwhelmed by God's provision to us through His servants.
"Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put in your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."
Luke 6:38
I'm blessed to be the recipient of this "good measure" and I know the Lord will bless these ladies, as well as everyone who has so graciously given of their time and talents in cooking for our family, with just that measure and more!
Tonight a group of ladies from church sent us seven freezer meals! We were overwhelmed by God's provision to us through His servants.
"Give and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put in your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."
Luke 6:38
I'm blessed to be the recipient of this "good measure" and I know the Lord will bless these ladies, as well as everyone who has so graciously given of their time and talents in cooking for our family, with just that measure and more!
Open our Eyes
Journal Entry-February 13, 2009
"And Elisha prayed, and said, 'Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.' Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." 2 Kings 6:17
"Blessed are they that put their trust in Him." Psalm 2:12
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
"And Elisha prayed, and said, 'Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.' Then the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha." 2 Kings 6:17
"Blessed are they that put their trust in Him." Psalm 2:12
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
Hair Today-Gone Tomorrow!
Journal Entry-February 12, 2009
Exactly two weeks from my first chemotherapy treatment, I lost my hair. Today is the first day for me to wear my "cranial prothesis" (or in laymen's terms-my wig!)
"Why, even the hairs of your head are numbered. Fear not, you are of mor value than many sparrows." Luke 12:7
"The Lord gave (hair), and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" Job 1:21
Exactly two weeks from my first chemotherapy treatment, I lost my hair. Today is the first day for me to wear my "cranial prothesis" (or in laymen's terms-my wig!)
"Why, even the hairs of your head are numbered. Fear not, you are of mor value than many sparrows." Luke 12:7
"The Lord gave (hair), and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" Job 1:21
The God of Hope
Journal Entry-February 10, 2009
It was Anna's turn to pray in the car on the way to school this morning. She said, "I know you can and you will heal my mom."
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." Psalm 8:2
"God is our refuge and our strength." Isaiah 46:1
"His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:23-23
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him." Romans 15-13
"From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee; when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
"Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus, our Lord." I Timothy 1:2
"Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive." Matthew 21:22
"Then he spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." Luke 18:1
It was Anna's turn to pray in the car on the way to school this morning. She said, "I know you can and you will heal my mom."
"From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise." Psalm 8:2
"God is our refuge and our strength." Isaiah 46:1
"His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." Lamentations 3:23-23
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him." Romans 15-13
"From the end of the earth will I cry unto Thee; when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2
"Grace, mercy, and peace from God our Father and Jesus, our Lord." I Timothy 1:2
"Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, you shall receive." Matthew 21:22
"Then he spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." Luke 18:1
Mid Week Blessings
Journal Entry-February 3-6, 2009
Joey came home from church Sunday night with a fever of 101. Joe took him to the doctor on Monday and he has bronchitis. We are taking precautions with germs at home and trusting the Lord to keep me, and all of us, well. I worked the rest of the week. It was a struggle just to take the next step sometimes, but I have no doubt that all the prayers being prayed for me were answered and I could keep going. On Wednesday night I was really struggling with the mouth sores and heartburn. I was at home on the couch waiting for Joe and the kids to get back from church and the phone rang. It was someone from church offering to bring a meal Thursday night. It was such a blessing. On Thursday I prayed that whatever she fixed would be soft enough for me to eat. She brought the most delicious and tender pork roast I've ever had with mashed potatoes and gravy! I was even able to go to the circus on a field trip with my class on Friday. I went for blood work after school and my counts were normal! We discussed my symptoms and possible things to change next time to help with them. She said most of my symptoms the weekend after were due to dehydration, so they will give me fluids the day after my chemo. from now on when I go for the Neulasta shot.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!"
Psalm 139:17
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
"The Lord make His face shine upon you. And be gracious to you." Numbers 6:25
Joey came home from church Sunday night with a fever of 101. Joe took him to the doctor on Monday and he has bronchitis. We are taking precautions with germs at home and trusting the Lord to keep me, and all of us, well. I worked the rest of the week. It was a struggle just to take the next step sometimes, but I have no doubt that all the prayers being prayed for me were answered and I could keep going. On Wednesday night I was really struggling with the mouth sores and heartburn. I was at home on the couch waiting for Joe and the kids to get back from church and the phone rang. It was someone from church offering to bring a meal Thursday night. It was such a blessing. On Thursday I prayed that whatever she fixed would be soft enough for me to eat. She brought the most delicious and tender pork roast I've ever had with mashed potatoes and gravy! I was even able to go to the circus on a field trip with my class on Friday. I went for blood work after school and my counts were normal! We discussed my symptoms and possible things to change next time to help with them. She said most of my symptoms the weekend after were due to dehydration, so they will give me fluids the day after my chemo. from now on when I go for the Neulasta shot.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them!"
Psalm 139:17
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace, as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13
"The Lord make His face shine upon you. And be gracious to you." Numbers 6:25
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